BTS - G̴̼͑̒L̶͙͗̒̚I̷͙̭̋̍̉T̴̢̳͖̐͝C̷̺̱̏̋͠Ḥ̴͖͑̽E̶͇̰̊̒̃D̴̲̼̉̆͝ #WATTY'S2019

24

a/n
I suggest reading back a bit to remember what happened, sorry for not updating, I'm in an extremely bad mental health state.

-

I felt like the world was falling so far beneath me.
I guess I never belonged here in the first place.

-

But all peace is ruined when a cup crashes to the ground, everyone's eyes shooting up.
To see Yoongi's whole body shaking as he struggles to breathe.

flashback

"Yoongi-hyung, look!"

A young boy with glasses perched on his nose points at a blue flower as they walk down a concrete path at the side of a river. The clear sky hanging above them, peaceful and in serenity.

"Jiminie. We see those all the time, they're nothing special."

"Then what about this one?"

The ravenette points at a pink flower, multiple little blossoms in little clumps that resemble clouds. Yoongi crouches down beside him, overgrown yellow bangs falling over his eyes. He pulls his hair back behind his ears, feeling Jimin's gaze rest on him.

"I really don't see why you find these so fascinating." Yoongi grumbles, standing up straight and crossing his arms. He starts walking fairly fast, making Jimin jog to catch up with him.

"It's because you have to see the beauty in life sometimes. See the little things that life is worth living for." Jimin reaches the older's side, his chubby cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk as he huffs for air.

"There's nothing that life is worth living for." Yoongi grumbles, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He looks over at Jimin who's eyebrows are furrowed in distaste. The older knew that Jimin loved everything about life, always insisting that it's precious. Yoongi could never see him as the type to give up on life, or give up on positivity. Though the boy had some issues with self esteem, he'd always put his best self out there for the world to see. Yoongi admired him for that, but felt hurt by how much of a perfectionist the boy was for no reason.

"Then find something that life is worth living for."

Yoongi looks at the younger who has a bit of a sparkle in his eyes.

Jimin smiles at him. "Like someone you love for example. When you love someone, you won't die for them; you'll live for them!"

"Like your girlfriend?" Yoongi scoffs, looking away with a stiff frown on his face. Jimin nods in his peripheral vision and they both continue to walk in silence.

Yoongi's heart aches like the pain on his wrists that evening, but worse.  He's never seen the point in living if no one loves you. If no one cares about you, no one notices you, if you don't even like yourself. What's the point in living on through pain if  you could just end it? If life causes only pain, what's the reason in living?

And that night was the first time he attempted suicide.

And today is the ninth.

-

Yoongi's eyes open slowly to the sight of a blinding white light, his lilac bangs covering a bit of his vision as his eyesight adjusts to the view of the familiar looking ceiling of his bedroom. Quiet sounds are heard. A fan whirring, a clock ticking, but the worst of all is the sound of his own heartbeat. Still alive. Ugh.

A worse sound is heard soon enough however. A light series of choked sobs from the side of his bed. He's weak but he turns his head to see Jimin with his face burried in the covers to his side, shaking as he holds Yoongi's hand tightly.

"Jiminie." Yoongi's voice is dry and hoarse, but the name reaches the ravenette's ears and his head shoots up. "I-I'm sor-"

His apology is cut off by a pair of soft lips pressing gently against his own, a light body resting on top of him in a warm(ish) hug. "Hyung!" Jimin cries quietly, stuffing his face into the older's neck.

An initial shock wave passes through the lilac haired, before realization hits him. He wraps his arms around Jimin's frail body, afraid he'll collapse under his touch if he holds too tight. "Shh.. I'm here.. I'm ok." Even though he didn't like to say it, he's still alive. And despite the pain of the overdose, the feeling of a human baby chick in his arms felt more comforting than what he had felt in a long time.

They were both far from ok. But now Yoongi was sure he was gonna help Jimin.
And Jimin was sure he was gonna help Yoongi.

"I love you." Jimin suddenly says, looking up to make eye contact with the older who freezes in shock. "Really.. I know. I really love you. I can't lose you. I need you, because I love you."

Yoongi caresses the younger's arms. "I.. didn't think you'd ever be able to love me. Especially after... what I did to you.."

Jimin nods silently, before resting his forehead against the other's. "We were young and stupid, both of us. You didn't know how your words would affect me, and I hurt you too without knowing it. That happens. It's in the past."

"Are you sure.. you don't.. hate me?" Yoongi avoids the ravenette's glistening eyes, his sight casting downwards as the younger places his cold palms gently against his cheeks.

"No." Jimin whispers. "I love you. I've always loved you. I was only blind and naïve. I still am to a point." He chuckles.

Yoongi then captures the boy's lips in his own, eyes fluttering shut as Jimin kisses back. How long each of them have waited for this.. they don't know. How long it'll take to heal? They definitely don't know. But they're sure that as long as they can support eachother, that's better than battling it alone.

They break the kiss and look deeply into eachother's eyes, reading every emotion, every thought that shows itself.
Yoongi smiles slightly. "Then I guess I can say.. I love you too."

And maybe. Just maybe. Things might turn out alright soon enough.

Or so they thought.

-

a/n

I'm so incredibly sorry for not updating then hitting y'all with this crap writing.
I've been going through such a hard time that no one will really understand and I feel very alone and broken all of the time, so writing has been very hard for me.

I had to write a bit of crap fluff though, cause it shows a deepening in these two's relationship and how using this healthy relationship's support it can aid the group with what they have to do next, as well as the other internal conflicts and relationships by being a role model.

I hope that makes sense.

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