BTS - G̴̼͑̒L̶͙͗̒̚I̷͙̭̋̍̉T̴̢̳͖̐͝C̷̺̱̏̋͠Ḥ̴͖͑̽E̶͇̰̊̒̃D̴̲̼̉̆͝ #WATTY'S2019

28

Truth is nothing but a perception of reality. When you're lost inside your mind, everything turns into a continuous lie.

-

six months ago

A pen glides across paper smoothly like a skilled skater on freshly cleaned ice, ballpoint leaving lines of thoughts on slightly yellowed paper, seeping slightly into the thin material as words come together to form a picture in the imagination. Rhymes repeating on a similar beat in the eerily quiet mind of a young man, emotions in the words fleeting on paper more present in the wisely worded writing than in his memory.

Almost like poetry the words repeat, pen sliding quickly in brisk movements over the lined surface, cursive lettering messy yet mindful. Namjoon lifts the pen for a second, his empty eyes staring blankly at the paper. He doesn't wonder where the emotions in the lyrics come from. Doesn't assume. It's not like he cares, or doesn't care for that matter. He's never cared for anything in a while. He can't remember what caring is like.

A crash comes from the kitchen, the sound of glass shattering across the tile floor fluttering through the room and reaching the silver haired man's ears. He closes his book calmly, not shocked by the sound. A groan follows, the low voice familiar.

"For fucks sake!" The voice angrily slurs, Namjoon walking robotically into the kitchen. He looks down at the glass then at the shorter man, who's visibly drunk. His hair is matted and pushed back from his face, sleeves of his white button up shirt rolled up to reveal countless cuts across his pale skin, some old scars, some forming ineligible words, some fresh and still bleeding. Yoongi sits down on one of the island stools, his elbows on the table as he grabs another beer, opening it against the table. He's about to down the bottle when Namjoon grabs his hand with at strong grip, earning a groan from the older.

"Jooooonnnnnn~~ Nam..joonnnn~ gimmee thaaa pleahse...?" He slurs when the younger pulls it away from him, knowing too well that the man is ten times more suicidal in the morning after a hangover. It's not like he doesn't try to help the older, it's just that he's so difficult to help, and so creative with getting away with his attempts. Namjoon can never keep tabs on what he might try to do. Once, the lilac haired male tried to down a whole 2L bottle of washing detergent, but Namjoon found him after the first swallow and took him straight to the hospital. They're lucky they live practically next to that building.

Yoongi murmurs intelligibly, sniffling, and the younger pulls him up away from the marble island. He decides to leave the bottles there, to clean in the morning, because he has to keep an eye on the older. "Youuu~ betterrr... gedme doo beddd quicklyyy~ I wanna sleeeeeep.. sleep foevvvaaaah..."

Namjoon slings the drunken man over his shoulder, the overwhelming smell of vodka and beer filling his nostrils. He easily carries Yoongi upstairs, as his light weight is practically nothing for Namjoon. Yoongi keeps murmuring incessant things, before gurgling and giggling at his stupidity. The man is not very easy to understand when he gets drunk, half lidded eyes bloodshot like red moons, pale drained skin making him look half dead with his visible blue veins.

The older kicks at the silver haired's torso as he's thrown down onto his unmade bed. "Be carefulll.. I wanna sleep in peeeeaawwcccee down in hell~"

Namjoon shakes his head and looks at his luxury watch, 2am, he sighs at the older who is giggling like a maniac. The younger has tried so many things to help the older. He's been there for him to rant, given advice, been support, payed hospital bills and housing arrangements, stopped him from jumping off the balcony on multiple occasions and has overall just been there to listen. But it always seemed like the older had a missing chunk of his heart that he could never be remotely content, like a gap that Namjoon couldn't fill no matter how many consulting words he spoke and how much understanding and warmth he pumped through Yoongi's veins.