My Heart Beats For You

Chapter 18 Stuck

August 7, 2012

Chloe's POV

The Doctors all say that I have to stay for a few more weeks so they can run some tests on me. I want get out of here though. I want to go home. I want to sleep in my bed again. At least Zack will still be here through all this. All my friends and Zeke left. My parents are going to leave so they can bring Brandon. He was staying at my grandma's house, but he wants to see me since I woke up. But, Zack will be with me all the way. I love him so much for that. I was in my room, Zack just got out of the shower and he was shirtless. I couldn't resist him. I grabbed him and kissed him. He held me and kissed me back, sensing that I wanted him. Then I thought of something. My past. Am I going to tell him? I don't want to, I'm scared he will hate me. I'm scared he will leave me. All the others did. Zeke never found out and I don't plan on telling him. Ever. But I need to tell Zack. I pulled away from him.

"Something wrong?" he said.

"I...I need some water. I feel dehydrated. Can you get me some?"

"Sure." He went and put a shirt on and left the room. There, that should give me some time to think of how to tell him.

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Chloe's POV (still)

He came back and sat down beside me. Smiling, he handed me the water and kissed my cheek. I smiled back and took a drink. Then I set my cup down and turned to him.

"I need to tell you something. You will probably hate me when I tell you, but you need to know. I can't keep it from you any longer." He took my hand.

"Tell me please. I won't hate you."

"OK here it goes..."

"Look at me." he insisted. I did.

"Whatever it is, I won't hate you. I couldn't hate you for anything." I smiled and started the story. My story.

"When I was thirteen, I got bullied a lot. I used to not have many friends, and i wasn't one of those popular kids that everybody loves. I was pretty much a loser. All the bullying starting getting to me, and I needed a stress reliever. So...I started cutting. I did it a lot. Almost everyday. Then, I met Jamie, she turned my whole life around. She didn't make it perfect though. I was dating this guy when I was fifteen, his name was Nathan. I told him, and he told the whole school. The bullying got worse, somehow teachers found out and I was always at the guidance counselor's office. I hated it. I wanted to die. That's what I tried to do. I tried to kill myself." I started crying on my bed.

"I was going to take pills, painless right? Well my dad found me and stopped me. He flipped out and threw the pills out my window and I his under my bed and cried. He tried to get me out but I refused. Then, when I went back to school, I started trying to NOT be noticed. I tried wearing darker clothes and be quiet. Eventually, people stopped bullying when I was sixteen. I started wearing my colorful clothes again. Then I started making note friends, and actually had a couple more boyfriends, one was Zeke. I tried to look as happy as I could, but inside I was still depressed." I looked at him and he was crying. I squeezed his hand.

"I still cut every so often. On my legs more than my arms. Only about once a week though. I stopped after a while. I still feel sad every so often though. I was tempted to, but I stopped myself. I have experience with this stuff, I know how it feels to feel like your the worst and to wish you could just die. Its horrible, but since I've met you, that all changed. I'm actually happy and I think my parents have noticed. That's why they are so nice to you. But, I know you hate me now. I'm okay with that I just needed to tell you." He looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. He stood up and went to the other side of the room, and got a box of tissues. He calmly sat down beside me. I thought they were for me until he started crying onto my shoulder.

"What the hell? Why is this effecting you so much?" what he said next surprised the hell out of me.

"I draw too." he said.

"What? What do mean?" He pulled up his sleeve and showed me his scars. I looked at them in shock. Then he laughed.

"I like to think of it as drawing. I'm making art on my arms." I looked at him, tears streaming down my face. I pulled him into a hug. He held me really tight, and I did the same. Then he suddenly swooped me up and carried me to the elevator.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Its a surprise." He carried me into the elevator and held me the whole time, humming to the annoying music, which made me giggle. It was dark outside and he took me to a patch of grass, laying me down gently. Then he lay down beside me.

"Look at the stars. Aren't they beautiful?"

"Very." I said. He turned his head to me, and i looked at him.

"I wish you would've told me sooner."

"I didn't want you to hate me."

"That's why I didn't tell you either, but like I said, I couldn't hate you for anything."

He pulled me close to him and kissed me. When he pulled away, I cuddled with him and looked at the stars. Then we saw a shooting star. He smiled,"Make a wish" he said.

"I wish this night would never end." I said. And I meant that.