Insanely in Love

1

before the asylum

Eliza
"I just...Peggy Im not sure he could handle it there! No offense but there is always the slight chance of him getting worse and-"

"Liz, we will help him. he's gonna get worse if he continues to stay at home too, and you know how much therapy costs,you cant afford it"

Thats when I hear a. .choking and crying sound from the other room..

"One second, Peg.."

I go to Phillips room, only too see him with a noose..and a chair..and him about to kick the chair back..blood running down his arms and legs..

"PHILLIP!"

I go amd catch him right as he jumps. He cries.

"Mom! Why!?!! I want to join them! I cant live here..noone likes me.."

" Phillip! I love you so much...oh my god I dont know what I'd do with out you.. I-..Im sorry... "

Im hit with the realization...Peggy might be right... This kid as been threw so much..he needs help. i get him down and hug him close to me as he cries on my shoulder, hugging me tightly.

Phillip

I write a note..

Dear Mom,

I hope you know how much I love you, I really do. I hate to do this...I hate to cause you sadness but.. I can deal with the pain no longer. I cant handle the children at school who call me names..for having two dads, though they are both not here anymore. I cannot handle the memories of abuse that..that man..what was his name? Francis, caused to not only me, but my dad. Then my dad met Alex..or as I call him, pops..I thought things would start looking up, but..no why would they?! Dad...John, died..from cancer, he was whay kept me going..he always made me smile..but..then he had to leave me...then I only had pops left, but..he turned to work once dad died. He worked..he sold drugs! Then..he was shot..by a cruel, cruel man by the name of Aaron Burr. I hate him! I hate this world! Why is it so hard to live in!? I turned to self harm. I keep a turtle and bird with me, they make it seem like..maybe my dads arent as far away as they seem.

Please know, that I leave with reason, as it is to hard to stay here for me. Please, do not cry mom. Im not much, Im nothing I would not do anything great for this world anyway so why not just leave? Make it easier on everyone around me. I love you.
                                                  Love,
                                                        Phillip

I put the note on the chair, smearing blood that is leaking from my wrists on the paper, then step onto the chair and tie the rope around my neck..just as Im about to step off, mom walks in and catches me. Im mortified, and immediately start sobbing.