Insanely in Love

13

Yall I
Ugh
I'm dying, Phillip's dying, his parents
Uh
Died-ed...
English death dying fun great we on the same page? Cool. Great. Fun.
Wtf am I doing
•°•°•

Phillip pov
Time? Present.

I gasp and wake up, panting as I look around my room "Daddy!?" He practically scream, then pant and look around wide-eyed. I'm fucking 19. I shouldn't be screaming Daddy in the middle of the night

(If anyone could remember the age I made him in the mental asylum that would be great. Thx stars.)

I sigh. I wanna get up. I wanna run away. I wanna keep running and running til I physically cant and everything, my past, my worries, everything. Is behind me.

Except..Theodosia..shes so beautiful and sweet and caring..I mean, probably sweet and caring because she has to..but, I dont know..it always seems so genuine. She always tries to care for me, some, crazy freak with daddy issues. I failed them. But maybe I wont fail her..maybe I'm getting better. Maybe we can become friends..more? No..shes a nurse, it's probably against code but..that almost makes me more lustful towards it..more, needy fuck..Im a teenager that's never done did that type of stuff, okay? Shut up. I sigh and try to ignore my thoughts.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid..

I'm so stupid for thinking I might not fail someone. I'm stupid for existing. Stupid for failing both my father's, my mother..all my family its..i..

No, shut up shut up shut up-
"Shut up!" I scream

Silence, broken in the hospital..start of the day, that's what that means. Once it's broken or cant be fixed til another night hits. That's our chance then, rest and sleep until the next once wake and weep-

What the fuck am I even saying?

I see my doorknob jiggle then the door opens. I sigh. Yes, the nurses check on us quiet often threw the night, every hour or so for me, since they gained trust. I might have just shattered it. Fuck I'm so fucking
Stupid
Fuck, fuck, fuck-
FuckItY fUck fUck

I looked up. Theodosia

"Phillip.."
"Theo..I.."
"Nurse. Theodosia." She sighed
"Sorry..I just.."
I explain and she nods, she sat on bed, quite close to me. I was uncomfortable at first but, then I melted into it and found myself leaning on her shoulder..I'm so fucked up, but arent we all?

Your so fucked up. It's you
It's you it me its us we are fucked up. I am you, you are me. I'm what's driving you crazy.

Heyoooooo stars
Tacos
Whatever the fuuuuuuuuu-
I love this book- but fr I need to come to an end, but I dont think its ending soon. This was kind hard to write as I've been going in and out of little space like- all day.