Song for the chapter: Billie Eilish - when the party's over
Zayn Malik - good guy
*****
Narrator's POV
*In the press conference*
The boring chatter of the rules begins as every day.
The minute Zayn had to be in front of people, he'd get a reminder on how to act, which curse words to use and when, how to dodge or avoid questions he shouldn't be answering.
He hated it. Actually, hate wasn't doing justice to what he felt. He loathed it, with all his being. He kept damning the day he signed his first contract, the saying, you should read every small detail even the fine printed stuff at the end, had been very true and a nightmare from him.
Except, it wasn't a nightmare. It was his life. Or what was left of it to be called his.
He wouldn't be ever able to leave without losing everything. He's been warned by too many that were in this industry long before he was, saying there's no way out. The ones who try end up insane, in debt, or worst case scenario, dead. He's heard those mysterious stories, but he didn't believe it until it happened to his childhood friend, whom his career had began the same times as his, but sadly he wasn't able to handle all the pressure. Zayn wasn't sure how he was handling it all these years either. It's his fate. The ones questioning these things and trying to decipher the stories on tumblr blogs, the conspiracies about selling your soul when wanting fame were somewhat the best description to use. It was even more dark than that.
He rolled his eyes when his manager reminds him of the clause that if he does something compromising, he had to do something else to hide and distract people of that scene. Like the many times he couldn't perform because of some underlined issue. Of course he had anxiety too, but the many times he had to perform with a fever or a broken hand never stopped the people who were pulling on the strings, they want more and more, never having enough of money. How much more would they need though? It was their curse.
The room fills with many journalists, he's told to be witty and charming today.
Sighing, he leans back on the chair.
There's a feeling in his chest every time he has to pretend. He wanted to shout, scream that this was all fake, his friendships, part of his relationships, even the part where he claims he gets to do what he wants finally. It was all a big fat lie.
The only thus far that was genuine was the connection he had with his admirers.
As if on cue, his mind gets back to the blue eyed girl too.
That's what lifts his mood, he couldn't wait to see Jane again.
They fade, the memories he has of his first terrifying media training, where he discovered in what shiitshow he had gotten himself into. The glamour of it all, seemed rusty once he looked at it from close. A puppet being forced to do what they wanted. Sometimes he felt like he didn't even know himself anymore.
Yet now, he had something to look forward to, since no one knew about their connection. Lastly something private, someone he could trust and turn to. She wasn't into all his fame, nor wealth, she was different despite how cliché it sounded to him. He's seen many girls, could have any, but with her... it wasn't like this. They mastered to have deep conversations, and first he thought it was because he felt guilty that he was withholding some truth, a gravel truth. That's why he's been chasing her, until recently. He's been able to see past something she tried to guard so well. She wasn't bitter, nor as stone. She was only pretending to be, and who knew better about having to pretend than him?
