At first I couldn't tell it, why he seemed scared, waiting for me to elaborate, alarmed and anxious is his expression until I don't say anything.
His hand had released my cheek, my skin missed its touch...
Maybe I should've kept my mouth shut. It doesn't bring anything good, if he can't even admit it to himself... Although, I must admit that there's something changed in me, I can lastly understand him better, I might even consider being with him after this... he's seen me and understood me more than anyone ever has.
He frowns deeply, thick eyebrows lowering in thought, „The thing I can't even admit myself?" He rasped at my way of wording it, his expression turns flat, then his coffee eyes meet mine, I'm anticipating his next words, „What did I say or when?" Concealing what he really feels is what bothers me the most.
„Can you be real with me once, Zayn?" I deadpan, I need him to just say what he feels and be rude if he felt like it, whatever it was, he had to show me. It can't be that he doesn't feel anything more about me, I'm slowly coming to terms that I like him too, much more than I expected to in such a fast way.
„W-What?" He stutters, completely struck with a surprising emotion. „Had any recovery?"
It's my turn to be surprised, „No, why?"
He exhales, rubbing on his brow, his stiff composure relaxed, „I just got reminded," he shrugs his broad shoulders, „Forget it," he shakes his head,I ignore my subconscious trying to warn me that this was a sign. He's been doing this too many times, asking if I remembered anything at the most oddest times, „I'm not sure what you're waiting for, I was the most real with you than I ever could be with anyone..." he clears his throat, „I haven't had like this type of connection with someone else, blue eyes."
I want to ask him, I really do. But what if he's just said those words out of mind, maybe he isn't even ready to accept those feelings.
„What's wrong? What do you mean?" He asked again, his phone kept buzzing but he ignores it. „Can you tell me what's happened?"
Sighing, I gesture at the sound coming from his jean jacket, „It must be something important."
He rolled his eyes, „It's not, just Seb annoying me because of you."
„Excuse me?" I retort appalled.
„Well, I already told you, you broke his fvcking heart, without remorse." he's beyond mad right now, it's the way he shuts down again and again. It's maddening. "Now I have to deal with it."
Struggling to not snap at him, „Are you honestly trying to guilt trip me right now?" I put my hand on my chest.
„I don't have to, you're so perfect, no one deserves you."
„That's not true!!!" There's nothing more that I hate than that sentence. It's what brings some of my memory, flashbacks at this moment if you will, when I was back in Highschool, how nobody wanted to ever date me because of that stigma, being the perfect girl next door, the one guy who was interested in me, tried to explain him cheating on me with his ex that I was just too perfect, „I'll refresh your memory. You kissed me a dozen times, when he was interested in me." I sharply reply, my cheeks got hot from the anger I felt at this moment, he's furious too. It will always get to this, doesn't matter how good we'll get along, „Where's your conscience?" I even jut him on his heart, icily glare on my face, the jab takes a toll on him, his face twists instantly.
He scoffed, staring me down with his pretty eyes, „I actually came here to try and get you two to reconcile, because you two are picture perfect, but I guess it won't change anything since in your case it's just a mental issue."
