The Difference

The Girl Who Lost Her Heart

I didn't talk to Cheryl for a week.

I didn't talk to anyone really.

Veronica ditched me for Archie once I started acting like this.

She tells me she can't love me, and she expects me to be fine. She expects me to be completely okay. Completely unbroken. She's wrong. Everyone expects me to be this strong amazing girl. But how many times does my heart have to break for me to become heartless? 

Once I started talking to Cheryl again I felt a little better, "Veronica dumped me." I gave her a small smile, I didn't want to see her reaction. It was better not to hope and not to be disappointed.

"I'm sorry. I know how much you loved her." My heart squeezed, how much could you love someone if you started to like someone else? 

"Not really. I liked you the whole time I was dating her." Cheryl stared at me. "It's not like it wasn't obvious. Just leave it alone, I'm tired and I don't want to deal with that." Yet.

"I think, sure you might have liked someone else, while you were dating Veronica, but that doesn't mean you didn't love her. For anything, it could mean that you loved her so much that you didn't want to get hurt so you wanted an escape route." I shook my head, why would I want to stay with someone who could never even love me? She said it herself, she's straight. I smiled at her, she was still trying to find the best in me and apply it to this situation. I laughed and shook my head.

"Cheryl, I'm not the good guy. I betrayed her, I liked someone else while I was dating her. It's as simple as that." She furrowed her brows, you could almost see her thoughts wanting to come out.

"We accept the love we think we deserve." She was so proud of herself for remembering that quote. I had no idea that she liked to read, I smiled to myself, it was from Perks.

"That's sweet but Perks of Being a Wallflower has nothing to do with my life." She sat down next to me, I could tell this conversation wasn't over, I smiled to myself. Cheryl Blossom was sitting next to me. I started writing in my notebook, I couldn't pay attention to this English class, sorry Ms. Alric. I was drawing with words when I heard someone clear their throat in front of me. It was Ms. Alric, she was looking down at me with an annoyed look. It took all my self-control not to smirk.

"If your writing is so much more important than this class would you like to share?" Little did she know that I always want people to read my writing. I write for an escape, that's the main reason but I still love to hear other people's thoughts about my made up worlds.

"Um, sure.

As she took a step forward into the clearing, the trees started to climb, the vines climbing the trees, you couldn't take four steps without seeing a blossom. She sat in the clearing, waiting for the boy who would come and rescue her. 

She waited, waited, and waited. The boy never showed his face, he was scared to. He hid behind the trees that she had created. He watched as she began to cry, he wanted to run to her but someone had tied his feet to the ground, keeping him in place. 

'Where is he? Why didn't he come? He said we could run away together.' The girl looked around, trying to understand, to know what she did wrong. Little did she know she hadn't done anything wrong. Someone was trying to get her to fulfill her destiny for their own agenda. " I saw the teacher sit on the ground, I smiled to myself as I continued to read. She was hooked.

"There was a snake, in the tree waiting for his chance to strike. His master told him 'not yet, not yet.' The girl's tears once blue as the sky, seemingly clear had now turned red as blood, staining her white dress. As she stood up her heart was left there in that clearing. She had turned into a monster, one who had lost her heart. She was no longer the girl who would wait for someone to clean her up and save her. She had become the girl who would cause problems for others and save herself. The demon who had kept the boy in place laughed an evil laugh that would send a shiver down your spine, and let the boy go. The boy collapsed in grief, he had killed her, he had killed the only girl he had ever loved, she was gone forever. He died of a broken heart, when the girl found him again she looked at him curiously and smiled. She thought he had deserved a broken heart, after all, he had ditched her when she needed him. She walked away, with the end of the world at her heels, ready to bring down the place that had made her this way." I looked up at the teacher who was in tears, I was slightly confused about how she was in tears, it was a short story and not much had happened. The teacher stood up, sniffled, wiped her eyes and walked back to the front of the class. 

"You all can have a study hall for the rest of the period." She left the room, and when she came back her eyes weren't as swollen, her voice not as cracked. I smiled and touched the corner of the paper. I hadn't written in so long I forgot what my words could do to people. I glanced at Cheryl, she had been staring at me. As soon as our eyes met she tore them away and stared at her empty hands. She shook her head and began to do her homework. I looked around at the room, not once in my life had I ever felt more alone. Little did the class know that I had no clue where my heart was. I was the girl who had lost her heart and I had no clue how I would ever find it again.