The Difference

Saturday Sleepover pt 2

At the Lodge's place they tend to have fancy dinners all the time, and this one time was no exception. I was looking forward to pizza but... I ended up with a plateful of extra long spaghetti. That apparently you share. I was sharing a plate of spaghetti. With Veronica Lodge. I had a feeling that something was going to happen... soon. Veronica's parents were out, so we were the only two at the dinner table. I twirled the spaghetti onto my fork and placed it into my mouth. I realized that I had not gotten the whole piece of spaghetti. The rest of the spaghetti was inside of Veronica's mouth. I tried not to smile.
"Heyyyyyy you took my spaghetti."
"No I didn't! You took mine!" She tried not to giggle, she wasn't doing very well at keeping a straight face. Considering how neither one of us wanted to cut the spaghetti, and both of us had already placed the spaghetti in our mouths, we were going to be cliche. We both turned to face each other and began to inch together. Veronica leaned in towards me and bit the spaghetti right outside of my mouth. But she didn't move away while I swallowed, and we still had a little bit of spaghetti on the plate.
"Hi." I smiled at her, I never really know what to do while people are close to me or doing something cliche from movies. I still had a weird sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach that something wasn't right about this. Something didn't feel right with the raven haired secretive girl. Even if she didn't seem so secretive anymore.
"Hi there. How are you?" As she got closer her voice dropped in volume. She made my stomach flip, my heart jump, and my pulse run, all at the same time. She was turning my bodily functions into a circus.
"I'm pretty ok... I could be better though. How are you?" I had made no move closer to her, I wasn't sure I particularly wanted to. I seemed to be looking everywhere but at her. She was just...so close to me. I didn't really know if I was allowed to say no, I mean I am in her house and its only 11:00, we still have a while until I leave. I didn't really want her to move away either. I leaned in just a tiny bit, and that was all I had to do. She kissed me softly on the mouth, almost like how you would dip your toe into the water to check if it was cold or not. I've never done that before, it takes longer to get used to, its easier to jump into the water completely.
"I feel better now." She whispered across my lips as she kissed me again. She kissed me harder this time, dragging her hand down my back gradually to rest her hand on my hip. Until she wrapped her arms around my waist, and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around her, and I kissed her once softly. It never felt like we were kissing each other, it more felt like, she was kissing me, she had the power, I was just something she was using. It felt like she coaxed my heart out of my chest, made it do so many tricks that it had never done before, and then throw it to the curb. I did not like how this was going. I didn't feel any fireworks, thats how they always describe it in the movies, but in all the times I've kissed people, including Jughead... weird lapse in judgement. I have never had fireworks. It's always been just two people's lips moving against each other, and sometimes moving away from the mouth and towards other things. She ran her hands through my brown hair gone pink, her fingers seeming to want to explore me. But I didn't want them to, this didn't feel right.
"I'm kind of tired, Veronica." She pulled away from me.
"Oh... okay let's sleep then." I turned around so that she couldn't see my face. She draped her arm across my hip, and pulled me to her. I felt like there were pebbles between me and her. I felt incredibly uncomfortable. This was not unlike the times I've cuddled with people before, it just never feels... right. I still felt the feeling that I was something she was using, I didn't particularly loved to be used.