Fearless

Chapter 1- Violet

June 25th

Taylor

"What do I do?" I frown, staring at the sleeping baby in my arms; so innocent and new. The warnings I've been getting the last nine months are still trapped in my mind; "keeping this baby will ruin your career." "No parent will let their kid listen to someone who fell pregnant at eighteen." "You can't do this alone and still have the career you want."

I stroke her cheek as she sleeps in my arms, so content and peaceful. Tears fill my eyes as her little hand wraps around my finger. "You're so perfect." I whisper, not risking waking the baby up prematurely. "Your career just took off, Taylor. You could lose everything you've ever wanted all because of one mistake." I frown, pulling my eyes away from the baby to look at the group of people in front of me; my mom, dad, Paula and Scott. "She's not a mistake. She's a baby; a human being." I glare at them, none of them at all supportive of the idea of me keeping her. They've made it so clear the last nine months.
"Shoot me for being a little reckless when I was in pain. Remind me again who tore my relationship apart?" I'm tired and weak but I'm not going to let them forget what they did to entice that stupid fake relationship in the first place.

"That was for your own good. That girl could've ruined your career before it even started." I roll my eyes as I look up to my publicist. "I loved her and she loved me, and you took that from us and forced me into a PR relationship with some douchebag, then after one stupid night together he got me pregnant." She folds her arms as she moves to my side, looking down at the sleeping infant. "The relationship was fake for a reason, Taylor. I didn't make you sleep with him, that was your choice and now you're facing the consequences of your mistake." I shake my head, blinking back tears. "She isn't a mistake, and I don't care what anyone says."

I look around the room at all of the disappointed faces, they think they know what's best for me and for her, they think I'm still a stupid kid. "Please, just leave me alone." I look away from them, cradling the baby and staring at her soft features, trying to look anywhere other than the disappointed faces of the people I've always wanted to impress the most. I don't look back until the door closes behind them and I know for sure that I'm alone. I lie down on my side as I lay my head on the pillow, lying the tiny little thing on the hospital bed beside me. She holds onto my finger and I smile a sad smile as tears fill my eyes.

"I don't know how to be a mom, baby girl, I barely even know how to take care of myself, but I promise I'll do my very best to give you everything you'll ever need. I'll give you a good life, you'll be happy and loved. It's you and me against the world, little one."

She gurgles and grunts as she wiggles around, her little limbs still jerky as she adjusts to being outside the womb. You could say that I was definitely surprised to discover I was pregnant. It was one time and definitely not my favourite sexual experience, and then that just felt like an added punishment because I knew a baby meant my life would change forever, even more than it already was. I found out on my nineteenth birthday and cried in a Walmart bathroom until I could find the courage to go home and tell my parents. They were so disappointed in me, they trusted me to be responsible and I broke that trust. I was angry after they made me break up with Emily and then proceeded to fire her. I was heartbroken, and then they decided to set me up with him. I thought I fell for him, looking back now it's more like I was forcing myself to like him because that's what was expected of me, but I was still so in love with Emily. Then one thing led to another and I ended up pregnant and the 'relationship' ended weeks later. He knows about her but he doesn't want anything to do with us, and I don't think I want him to be involved either.

"Taylor?" I look up as the door opens and the figure I'm met with makes my heart leap and shatter at the same time. "Abigail?" I gasp, my heart racing as the redhead moves to my bedside. "What have you gotten yourself into now?" She laughs as she perches on the side of the bed beside me carefully, tears spill over as I stare at her in complete disbelief. "How are you here?" I frown and she wipes my tears away with her thumb. "Paula called me and told me you were here, she thought you would like a friendly face." I shake my head as I sit up, picking up the baby and cradling her in my arms. I never told Abigail I was pregnant. I never told anyone. My label wanted to keep it a secret for as long as they could which means I haven't seen my best friend in months.

"Who's this?" She changes the subject as she peers over to look at the baby, a small smile on her face. "I'm so sorry, I couldn't tell you- please don't hate me." I sob as I watch the girl shake her head and smile at me. "It's okay, Tay. You don't need to apologise." She reaches for my hand and squeezes tight, her way of grounding me when I start to freak out.

"What's her name?" She asks, again changing the subject back to the baby. "She doesn't have one yet." I sigh, she's not even a whole day old. "Did you have any in mind?" I bite my lip as I watch her little eyes flutter open, the identical blue mirroring my own as she looks up. "I like Willow and Violet." My voice is small and I'm much less confident than normal. "I like Violet." She looks up to me and I stare at my daughter, "Violet Rose Swift. Rose after my Nana. What do you think, little one?" I wiggle my finger a little, trying to gain a response from the barely awake newborn. "Oh bless you." I laugh as she sneezes and Abigail squeezes my hand again, "I think that means she likes it." She laughs and I nod, barely able to take my eyes off of the baby.

"I'm keeping her, Abi." I don't take my eyes off of the baby for even a second, I'm totally in love with her. "I know." She smiles and then sighs, "I think they do too and they're not happy about it." She looks out to the hallway where I'm assuming everyone is congregated. "I know, but I don't care. She's my baby." I look at my best friend who looks worried. "They're talking about moving you back to Pennsylvania, Taylor." I shake my head and sigh as I look over to the door, "I'm nineteen, Abi. I don't need their permission to live my life. My first album is doing amazing and I turn 20 in five months. I'm doing this my way whether they like it or not." Her smile is warm as she stands up, wrapping me in a hug. "You know you'll always have me. No matter what trouble you get yourself into, you'll always have me." I nod as we let go. "Thanks Abi."

The moment quickly comes to an end as we hold eye contact and burst out laughing. "Come on then, hand my niece over. I want a proper cuddle." I smile and I fix the little hat on her head and hand the newborn over to her Aunt Abigail. "Hi Violet. I'm your Auntie Abi. I'm your mommy's best friend which means I'm going to tell you loads of embarrassing stories about her and teach you how to drive her crazy." I laugh as I watch the interaction, a genuine smile on my face for the first time today.

I know it's going to be hard and I know that I might lose everything, but I brought that little girl into the world so I'm sure as hell going to try my hardest to make sure she gets everything she deserves.