Therapist: Kind of surprised to see you here. It's been months since we've spoken. How are you?
Self: I don't even know why I'm here. Things are not going so great.
Therapist: Well what exactly is going on? Work? School? Boys?
Self: For once I wish those were the things bothering me.
Therapist: Your BPD must've kicked in huh.
Self: I can't stop it from effecting me. I can't stop panic attacks from happening. I can't make my brain shut off. I can't do anything without being scared. I'm scared of everything. And I have never been scared. Never.
Therapist: The way you're sounding like you're helpless and hopeless is damaging. And you know that. The negative thoughts, all your negativity is what is effecting you and you're letting it.
Self: How do I make it turn off?
Therapist: Is that why you came today? So that I can tell you how to turn it off?
Self: Yes.
Therapist: It's not a switch. It's something you learn to be okay with. It's something you learn to suppress because you are stronger than it. It takes time.
Self: I don't have time.
Therapist: These things take time.
Self: I don't have time!
Self: Not much anyways.
Therapist: The only advice I have for you now, is to get yourself committed. Committed to yourself. And taking care of yourself. You don't have time? Why not? What will you be doing? You'll have all the time in the world when you're dead in a coffin regretting doing what you're thinking of doing. And if you say what I think you're going to say, I have to call the police. And get you Baker Acted. Or you can walk in yourself. And get yourself admitted. And take care of yourself for once.
Self: I can't do that.
Therapist: But that's how you make it stop. You fight.
Self: I have to go.
Therapist: You've been here 10 minutes. Stay, talk to me. You wouldn't have came if you thought you didn't have much time left. You're fighting already I can see it.
Self: I can't stay.
Therapist: You know where to go if you need help. And I feel like you're going to end up there one way or the other. And if you do please send me a voicemail. They'll let me come see you. I'll find a way.
She was gone before the sentence had finished. We had hoped she would have learned and progressed. Instead she had crashed and burned. She finally reached her breaking point.
We can only hope that things will work out for Her.
YOU ARE READING
Her.
Poetry• 2017 Her feelings took Her to unfamiliar places. She would never forget. Her mind was racing. Her heart was telling Her no. But She had to escape. She had to end this. Or else there would be no one left to tell this story. So She did what She ha...
