520 ♡

03 ♡ Believe me (not)

Sehun knew he should not have done it. He knew the guilt inside of him would feel as if he had committed a sin, when honestly, all he did was writing a small sentence on the back of a seat. All he did, indeed, but knowing what the possible consequences could be. Sehun was not in the position to be mingling himself with others, he knew that very well, and he also understood that his curiosity would not be appreciated.

Or would it?

He would want to believe it was appreciated, actually. With the name bus boy had given him, and the small conversations he ever had with him, he did want to believe that his curiosity was wanted, needed.

However, the next time he saw bus boy, he hoped so much he had the ability to turn back time. He hoped so much he could erase that small sentence he had permanently written on the back of the seat. He hoped so much...

Because the expression bus boy was wearing, was unbearable for Sehun to see.

Was it sadness? Was it anger? Was it pain? Was it... Sehun did not know what could possibly describe it, but he knew one thing for sure. The small message Sehun wrote had caused Luhan a considerable amount of emotional pain. Considerable? That would actually be quite an underestimation.

Sehun could feel the lump forming in his throat as he slowly walked to the back of the bus, sitting on the seat at the far end of the emotionally unstable bus boy. He consciously forced himself not to look at his right side, to pretend the boy next to him did not exist. He did not have the courage to talk to him, in all honesty, and he could feel the regret building inside of him rapidly, asking him why he decided to sit so close to the bus boy. However, the bus boy did not grant him the silence, but forced him to confront the dark blonde boy.

"Sehun-sshi..."

Sehun did not reply, did not make a move. He simply did nothing, in the fear that he would do something wrong, or most importantly, say something wrong.

"Sehun-sshi..."Don't you dare to look in his direction, Oh Sehun, he continually ordered himself, though he knew he was slowly breaking. He knew he was going to give in any time soon, but the later, the better.

"He came back..."No he didn't, Sehun thought as he bit his lip harshly, preventing himself from looking in that feared direction. The younger male did not need any hint to know who the bus boy was talking about, obviously.

"Yet I missed the chance to see him..."

Sehun could hear it. He could hear the noticeable change in the bus boy's voice.

He was crying.

The bus boy was crying and it was all Sehun's fault. Sehun glanced out of the window, though his eyes were not focusing on anything. The sight in front of him was unfocused, just like his mind.

"You'll get to see him again." Sehun said softly.

"No..." He could hear the trembling in the bus boy's voice, the desperation, "I won't..."

Sehun snapped his eyes closed, trying to stop the guilt from eating him up alive. All he wanted was answers. All he wanted was peacefulness. All he wanted... Was horribly selfish.

"You'll get to see him, believe in it."

"I only had one chance, and I missed it... I... I've been waiting so patiently... I've been waiting for so long... Yet, the one time I'm not here... I missed my one and only chance."

"You'll get another chance." Sehun said calmly, though inside he was having a psychological war between guilt and regret.

"I won't... For heaven only permits one chance."