520 ♡

11 ♡ Goodbye. Hello.

Falling in love is as easy as memorizing the lines of your favorite song. Falling in love is always so easy, because it feels so heavenly good and love causes blindness. People get attracted to pretty things so easily, and fall in love with beautiful things as if they are born to do so.

So, really, the fact that Sehun fell in love with Luhan was just so predictable. It was as if from the first meeting, Sehun should have been able to predict himself falling for Luhan's gentle eyes, bright smiles, and warm words. He should have known that Luhan would be able to grasp his heart and tug at it playfully, making him long for the other more than he really should.

However, there were also moments when the realization frightened him more than it delighted him, because Sehun had been hurt by these feelings too many times already. It was always so easy to fall in love, to entrust someone your everything, just to get abandoned and left behind in the end. It was cruelty in its most elegant form. But then Sehun would be remembered of Luhan's presence, and how it made him forget all his doubts, all his wariness, and he would feel conflicted between falling in and out of love. Not that falling out of love was ever an option, but he always liked to pretend it was. And Sehun realized that it was never possible for him to be stopped by possible consequences, potential heartbreaks, because that was just how it worked.

And the world was not blind. The world was not ignorant to one's happiness. No, happiness was always so easily seen and so difficult to hide. So it really did not take long before Jongin had him cornered, looking at him almost accusingly, because Jongin was still waiting for an answer and Sehun was playing around with his poor heart.

"Sehun," Jongin began with a frown, "can we have a talk?"

And it was then that it all crashed down on Sehun that he was still avoiding his problems, still avoiding facing reality. It was only when Jongin looked him straight in the eyes that Sehun realized that he was still running away. He was running away when he really should not, because Jongin did not deserve this, Jongin had done no wrong, but neither did Sehun. Sehun had done nothing wrong, nothing that he should be ashamed of. The world just had no clue how much it hurt when everyone else moved on, while you stayed behind. The world just had no idea how unfair it felt to be the one who had to put an end to things, so everyone else could get away.

Everyone else, except for himself.

"If it really bothers you so much, then..." A flash of pain crossed Jongin's eyes, "Then just forget about what I said and asked, alright?"

Forgetting would do nobody any good, would do this situation no good at all. As if one could forget what was burned in one's mind. It all came down to pretending, and Sehun knew that pretending brought nothing. Pretending only protected the poor selfish child living somewhere in the corner of his mind, but other than that, it brought nothing. And it was clear that it hurt Jongin terribly much to even speak out that option, to even bring up the thought of pretending nothing happened, because how could that ever happen when it was so visible in every little movement and word spoken between the two of them?

"J-Jongin..." Sehun spoke out hesitantly, "I-"

"We promised we would be best friends forever, Sehun. I don't want that promise to be broken," Jongin bit his lip harshly, "but I can see you leaving me."

Sehun's eyes widened at this, shock filling him to the core. He could not believe what Jongin had just said, because it was Jongin who was on the brick of leaving him, not the other way around. It was Jongin who was leaving, not this poor person who only wanted to hold onto things as they were.

"How dare you say that!" Sehun yelled angrily, "You're the one whose living happily with Kyungsoo right now, leaving me behind! You're the one who's replacing me with Kyungsoo-"