520 ♡

Final ♡ 520

Sehun was not a wise person in the sense that he knew that much about life that nothing really troubled him anymore. Sehun was not that kind of person at all, for he still had so much more to learn. So many times he had heard that nothing was impossible and that knowledge was always a determination away to be savored. Yet, that was not what he thought. Being wise, in Sehun's eyes, was being able to acknowledge that he would never be able to get all the answers he wanted. Being wise was not merely knowing, but also understanding and embracing the fact that you would never be the wise person you thought humans could be.

Nevertheless, Sehun did have his own vision on life. He did have his own perspective on how to live a life. Life was simply nothing but a mess of coincidences and compromises, and in order to make sense out of it, you needed to accept that sometimes things happened for the sake of happening. Sometimes things turned out well, something things turned out badly. Sometimes Sehun would fly, sometimes he would fall. It was a cycle, a never ending cycle from the very first breath he took when he was born to the last breath he would let go when he closed his eyes for the last time.

And being scared, being frightened for going round and round, starting at the very beginning so many times – that was not the solution to anything. There was, in fact, nothing to be afraid of other than your own lack of willingness and perseverance. Sehun believed that one should never see problems and challenges as something negative, but as something that should be embraced. Why? Because every difficulty was a chance to become a better self, so instead of seeing them as something bad, they should be seen as something positive.

Of course, falling down hurts, getting things stolen from you hurts, losing something hurts, but it was only because it hurt that you realized just what was important to you. It was the falling, the very falling, that made you realize just how much you wanted to fly. It could sound weird, it could sound ridiculous, but how many great people did not fall? How many people who reached the highest skies did not fall down again and again, getting bruised again and again, only to stand up again with a strong determination again and again?

Blaming life that it was nothing but a big joke was only a way of putting all the responsibility of your own lives away. Blaming the world for being so unfair was merely a childish defense mechanism to protect your own disbelieving self. The truth was that the world was rarely only flowers and sugar. Occasionally, you would fall. And when you fall, you learn. And when you learn, you start to appreciate things more. And that was why the same hopeless downwards going spiral could be a hopeful upwards going spiral. The time spent thinking negatively could also be spent on thinking positively.

It really all depended on yourself, nobody else but you.

There was once a Sehun who was frightened to be left alone, who at some point cursed the world for making his life so difficult. There had been such a Sehun too. There had been a Sehun who wanted to give up so badly, but there were always people who would show him just how beautiful the world could be. It made Sehun want to do the same. If, in any possible way, he could show people who needed it the light they desperately wanted, then he could only wish that they could see light in his own light. He never knew whether he succeeded or not, but as long as he had tried his best to make the world a better place for those who needed the comfort the most, then he was happy. Happiness came by making those around him happy.

So, when he saw Kyungsoo and Jongin standing in front of him, with a very hesitant Jongin who was not sure whether he wanted to sit down or not and a softly smiling Kyungsoo who was grateful to have finally been able to meet the one and only Oh Sehun, he knew that this was the beginning of a new chapter. He had fallen down, harshly and mercilessly, but wounds would heal. It was now time to stand up again, wipe the blood coming from the corner of the lips and look up to the sky again. What he and Jongin had was something he wished could have last, and he would be lying if he said he did not spent some time wondering how things could have turned out if he had been braver, but he did not want to spend the rest of his life contemplating about the past.