520 ♡

05 ♡ Closure

"Just... Don't go see him anymore, Sehun."

Deep inside, Sehun knew that he should listen to Jongin. It was not like he did not know that, but even so something urged him to not stop just yet. Not until something had been reached. And what precisely had to be reached, was as unknown to Sehun as to anyone else. Yet, that was how Sehun felt, and that was what pulled him to go on. That was what he told himself when he saw Luhan, and that was what he forced himself to believe whenever Luhan was not around.

So when it was Saturday, and he stepped into the bus again to go to Jongin's house, and he saw Luhan, he quickly buried all sorts of internal, psychological conflicts he felt, and put up a smile as he took place on the seat at the other end of the back. Luhan looked up from his notebook, eyes lingering with gentleness as he nodded his head once to acknowledge Sehun's presence.

Sehun was never the one to initiate conversations, nor the one to keep the ongoing ones survive. He was the one who would passively wait, wait for the other person to keep on talking, keep on going. It was really a first that he dared to clear his throat and look at the other, voice hidden hesitantly in his throat.

"H-How... How are you doing?" Sehun asked nervously.

Luhan looked up, a little smile lingering on his lips, "I'm doing well, and you?"I'm still surviving, if that's the same as doing well, Sehun wanted to say, but having no such courage to say that, he quickly spoke out the standard answer he always had as a back-up.

"The same."

Sehun almost wanted to laugh at how pathetic his response was, and that he finally realized just where he lacked in terms of communication. However, Luhan did not seem to mind Sehun's lack of conversation holding, and put his notebook back into his bag, before his eyes focused on Sehun again.

"Are you going to Jongin?"

"Ah, yes," Sehun answered, "he wanted me to play some video games with him."

Luhan nodded his head, "That sounds like a lot of fun. You must be very good friends with him."

Well, if Sehun were to deliberately forget about all the fights and moments he wished he did not know Jongin, the other really was a good friend to have. Jongin just did not need to know that Sehun really liked him as a friend. That would crush his own pride, and feed Jongin's pride too much.

"We're stuck with each other, unfortunately," Sehun said with a grin, "but he's bearable."

Luhan chuckled lightly, "You like him a lot, Sehun-sshi."

This made Sehun's eyes widen in horror, "Oh God, don't say things like that. It gives me nightmares at night."

"Don't run away from the truth, Sehun-sshi," Luhan smiled, "it'll always come back to you."

Luhan meant no harm with those words, Sehun believed that, but Sehun himself felt the unintentional needles pricking his conscious, feeding his guilt. Sehun was not even sure whether he had even been granted the chance to run away from the truth, because it had been haunting him from the moment he had done it. He had been digging into something he should have never interfered with, and though he wanted to repay what he had done with his unconditional support for the bus boy, it really was always easier said than done. Regret and guilt danced together so beautifully around him, there really was no way he could wholeheartedly and sincerely look into the other's eyes.

"You're so much like Joonmyun... You've no idea just how much you resemble him."

That, he was not sure whether he wanted to hear or not, "I-Is that so? Why so?"