A Glance Into My Mind

summer sucks

I do not know what I need to write.

I don't know how to put my feelings in a place I can not touch.

I remember writing as an outlet where once I was able to let my soul flow freely,

from my mind to a pen, down on paper, and forgotten.

Writing was the thing for me, not talking to peers, exercise, violence, or sitting down in my room guzzling countless light beers.

I remember those days, they were so long ago.

I was friends with so many, went to church, went to school.

I had a boyfriend who loved me more than any boy should.

those were the days when I was the happiest, and when the depression hist me the worst.

I would slice my arms and my legs, cut me hair and cry, and cry, and cry. for days.

then tomas showed me the wonder that was having the ability to write my feelings on a page.

in a letter, through a poem, written novels. I knew I wasn't alone.

26 little letters, and infinite combinations, the only thing that keeps me from writing these days is my lack of inspiration.

I no longer feel as strongly,

not in any one way.

I don't go to church, or make new friends, I have chosen to be this way.

the boyfriend I have now is supportive and makes me happy,

but i spend more time with him than I do with myself.

I no longer write, read, or do much, for that matter.

I'm bored, and angry, and i can not wait for summer to end.

even my job can not save me.