By The Gods - Vikings

Chapter 4

I walked over to the Great Hall, my head feeling like someone had put an axe through it. I slumped down onto one of the chairs, my head hitting against the wooden table as I tried to take a moment.
I didn't want to go home. Not if I was actually married. I suppose I figured that as long as I never saw them again and pretending that nothing ever happened... Then all was fine. Or perhaps I just wasn't ready to face what I'd done.

"Look who's still breathing!" Sigurd hollered, walking into the room.
I let out a groan, hearing him shout. Then, before they could notice anything, I hid my hands. If they found out that I'd gone and got married, I'd never hear the end of it.

"I'm surprised you can actually still stand." Ubbe chuckled.

"Stop talking." I groaned, they all let out laughs at this.

I lifted my head, looking up at the brothers. Ivar wasn't there.

"What happened?" I asked, cringing slightly.

"Well, I hear congratulations are in order." Sigurd mocked.

"Ugh. Who? Who did I marry?" I asked, no linger feeling the need to hide my ring.

"Some Swedish farmer that came here for the feast." Hvitserk said, sounding a little agitated.
I face palmed again. "Well, I suppose I should go and meet my husband." I grimaced. "Where's Ivar?"

"We haven't seen him since we found out you got married. I think he's with Floki." Ubbe said, patting me on the back encouragingly.

I stood up, walking to the door and wincing when the sunlight hit my face. This was not good.

The sun shone down, an unusual clarity and heat for this time of year. The streets were odly quiet and the usually muddy ground was dusty and dry.
I made my way over to my hut, the sunlight stabbing at my skin. It gleamed over my small wooden home. I could see the dust in the rays of light, lingering as if to see what would happen next. My boots hit against the ground, being covered in the thin brown dust that spluttered up from beneath them.
My hair was a mess of matted nots and frizzy braids, my eyes tired and weak from exhaustion. But I had to go, I had to know what I had done. I could not rest.
My fingers traced the edge of the door, unsure whether I wished to open it. This was not, of course, my first marriage but I did not wish to be stuck in another situation like the last. I gently caressed the handle, taking a large breath and opening it with a slow creak. I gulped down my pride and entered my home, closing the door behind me.

"Hello?" I asked into the air.
That's when a tall man sat up from my bed, his hair dark brown like my own and his eyes just as tired as mine. "Wife." He greeted before slumping back down onto the bed.
I sighed. Yes, wife. That's a word that I hadn't heard myself be called in a very long time. A word I wished would never be used to describe me again.
Why had I done this?
"What happened?" I asked in curiosity. It would seem that surely he could tell me more than Ubbe, Sigurd and Hvitserk.
"Last night?" He queried.
I nodded, urging him onward.
"You and I left the Great Hall. We had sex, drank. You saw someone outside late that night, followed after them and... Then we got married. Then you left again." He explained.
"Why did we get married?!" I exasperated.
"That was your idea. How much of a fool would I have been to say no to such a fierce woman?" He chuckled.

I slumped down onto the floor, cursing under my breath. I didn't want this. This was not how invisioned getting married. I always thought it would be more falling in love, having a nice ceremony, living our lives together as old warriors until one of us died on the battlefield. Not drunkenly proposing to a random stranger and waking up in a barn the next morning.
Which lead me to my next question. Who had I seen outside? Why did I wake up so far from my home?
I was missing time and the idea of not knowing what had happened for those few hours was like having a knife pressed at my throat. What could I have done? Hopefully nothing too awful. Hopefully.
Who had I talked to? Perhaps they were the reason for my sporadic idea.

After taking the day to rest, I wandered outside. The sun had long since set and now the moon shone in its place. It looked down at me with the distain and disappointment that I'm sure both Lagertha and my mother would share.

"Shouldn't you be with your husband?" A familiarly bitter voice sounded from behind me. Ivar.
I looked up at him. "Ivar..." I sighed as he sat beside me, keeping his distance. "Where have you been?"
"With Floki." He said flatly. I wasn't entirely sure what was wrong with him but I could only guess that it had something to do with my recent betrothal.
"I wanted to see you..." I whispered with a gentle voice.
"Well, here I am." He answered.
"What's wrong with you?" I questioned, mildly irritated by his attitude.
"What's wrong with me? You're the one married to a total stranger!" He raised his voice.
"So? Why are you so bothered about that?" I shouted, rage building within me.
"Because you're being an idiot! He's not good enough for you!" He yelled.

"Well who is? What am I supposed to do? Spend my whole life waiting for someone who's 'good enough' to actually want me? Spend my whole life alone?" I roared back.

"I don't think it's difficult to not get married to a total stranger!" He bellowed.

"Well who else would marry me Ivar?" I screamed back.

"I would!" He yelled.

The world fell silent. Even the sound of the ocean was muffled by those two simple words. Ivar's face dropped as he realised what he had just told me. I looked at him in pure shock.

"You what?" I choked out in utter astonishment.

"You heard me." He grumbled, shifting awkwardly.

Without a second though, I grabbed a hold of his shirt, pulling him into a kiss. My brain was elsewhere as my heart raced to the sensation of his lips on mine.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I asked as we parted.

"If I knew you were going to do that, I would have!" He spoke finally.
I chuckled at his reaction.

The silence of midnight engulfed us once more. It filled up the beach, refusing to move. Just silence and darkness and the crashing of waves surrounded us.

"I'm not the only one, you know. " Ivar broke the silence.

I looked at him in utter bewilderment.

"You should've seen Hvitserk's face when he found out. In fact, half the men in Kattegat wanted to kill your husband." He huffed.

More shock rose onto my face, "Hvitserk feels the same?"

"I don't know. I just know that you deserve better than the man you chose." He shrugged.

"Better like you?" I grinned, nudging his arm.

"Why do you think I didn't tell you? I never thought I was good enough for you. No one treats me like you do, Aneira. I'm just a cripple. But when I'm around you... You make me believe that I'm more than that." He sighed.

"You are more than that." I smiled, moving my hand onto his reassuringly.
I rested my head on his shoulder, watching the calm ocean waves roll into the golden sand.

We sat there for what felt like hours, surrounded by peaceful silence. I was content. Every moment I was there was like a dream I didn't wish to wake up from. Because I knew that the moment I moved, I would have to go back to reality. The reality that I was married now, the reality that it was likely too late for Ivar and I, the reality that even if it wasn't I could never hurt Hvitserk like that.

So, for that moment, I just sat and watched the waves.