N.M.Es

8

Narrator is speaking

Taehyung is wailing by the time he gets out of the building to look for Jungkook's body. The 911 has been called but the young man's only aim is to find Jungkooks body. All he can think about is the young man that just committed suicide. He knows very well that this will haunt him until his last breath. He is screaming and crying like a mad man and when he sees the lifeless body, he runs like his life depended on it while feeling the air disappearing from his whole system. He throws himself on Jungkook's body which is in a pool of blood, eyes shut.

Flashback

A five-year-old Taehyung is on a swing in the park he likes so much. Suddenly, he hears his friend's little and high pitched voice calling him

"TAE TAE HYUNG !!!"

He peeks at the small boy running to him like his life depended on it, smiling ear to ear, his tiny hand holding a small plastic bag. The little boy falls down and looks at his hyung with teary eyes but he quickly gets up and forget about the pain as he really wants to reach his hyung.

"Hyung ! Kookie ish a big boy now ! Kookie no more sleep with paci ! Hyung ish proud?" He asks while looking at the elder with stars in his eyes that are clearly showing admiration.

"Well done Kookie ! Oh, what's in this bag ?" The brunette asks the four-year-old boy.

"Mommy ish happy so mommy give Kookie CANDIES !!" The little one answers excitedly.

"Kookie want eat candy with hyungiie !" He tries to explain while handing the bag to his older friend. And so they end up eating the sweets together.

"Hyungie loves Kookie.. Okay ? Never forget that." Little Taehyung says.

"Kookie love hyungie big big big big like planet !" The little boy says gesturing a big planet with his tiny hands and arms.

The five-year-old boy leans in so his lips collide with the younger's.

"Taehyung my son we have to g-- TAEHYUNG WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" The said boy's fathers shouts, making the two little boys flinch.

He harshly grabs his son's arm then smacks him hard. Then he slaps Jungkook harshly causing his tiny head to jerk backwards, and his little body to fall down which hurt the little boy.

"Stay away from my son you disgusting being !" He spits with venom in his voice before aggressively dragging a crying Taehyung away from a wailing Jungkook.

From this day, Taehyung and his little sister Yebi are abused by their father who takes his frustration (due to the fact that his only son might be gay) on them on a daily basis. One day, on April 4th 2000 Mr. Kim Madong ends up killing Yebi in front of Taehyung's eyes and all he says is "it's your fault for kissing the Jeon's son : Jungkook. It's Jungkook. He did all of that. He killed your little sister. He made you gay ! I AM A MAN. I LIKE GIRLS. I HATE JEON JUNGKOOK AND PEOPLE LIKE HIM DESERVE TO DIE. REPREAT AFTER ME !!" The father shouts like a psychopath while choking him. Taehyung is traumatized, and complies. This occurred everyday from this specific date.

This is how Taehyung's hate towards Jungkook began.

End of the flashback.

"Forgive me FORGIVE ME FORGIVE ME FORGIVE ME !!" He cries, until his voice breaks.

"I love you.." he finally croaks while touching Jungkook's cheek shakily. He then leans in slowly to kiss him but decides not to do it since he doesn't deserve it.

Taehyung hits his head harshly against the ground several times. He wants to die. The world seems to spin and his vision starts to blur, he takes that as a sign that he'll die soon so he keeps on hitting his head on the floor hardly until he's stopped by a strong grip. He doesn't have time to see who the person is as he passes out.

I'm so sorry Kookie.. I lost you for real this time..

Taehyung is speaking

I wake up in a hospital bed, in a white room, my head is pounding and I'm dizzy. Overall, I want to throw up so bad. Suddenly I remember everything. My stomach churns brutally and I get up abruptly the only thing in my mind being Jungkook. My heart hurts so bad that I grip my shirt like crazy. A doctor enters my room followed by Namjoon and Hoseok. They see my pathetic state and I can see pity in their eyes. But I can't care less. All I care about now is

"JUNGKOOK ! WHERE IS HE !?!?" I scream while pulling my hair so hard that some of my locks fall off my scalp.

"Hey calm down he... We can't give information you aren't mentally stable enough.." the doctor says.

I collapse on the ground while hyperventilating.

"I am a murderer hyungs. It.. I'm just LIKE MY FATHER !" I scream while crying.

They come and hug me but that won't do. I'll never get better. He's dead and I killed him. I thought I wanted him dead but deep down I never did. Deep inside me there is still that five-year-old me in love with his dongsaeng. I hate my father so much. I hate myself so much. I bullied him just to release my anger, my sadness, my frustration, my fear.. Just to be the man my father has always wanted me to be. Jungkook went through horrible things, his life was a living hell and I just had to--

"Hey Taehyung calm down ! You are hurting yourself !" Hoseok hyung says utterly concerned.

I realise that I've been balling my fists and digging my nails into my flesh so deeply that blood came out of my palms. I look at the doctor.

"Please.. I beg of you.. Let me talk to him and tell him everything please. Let me say my last words, my goodbye please.." I cry weakly.

"Hum.. I regret but I'm afraid you can't since he is--"

"W-wherever you took him ! Just let me see him one last time !" I sob.

"As I was trying to say, Mr. Kim, your boyfriend can't receive any visit since he's still in the surgery room." He says before bowing and leaving the room.

I ignore the fact that he called Jungkook my boyfriend since it's not the most important. I let out a huge sigh of relief but I'm still stressed. I don't want him to die. It's decided. From now on, I'll never, I said never hurt him again and I am going to do everything I can to fix him. I want to love him. Freely.