Church Boy Gone Bad // Jelena

Chapter 12

Justin P.O.V.

We kissed.

    It was an accident but suddenly that's all I can think about. Her lips looked so soft. . . and they were. I didn't think they would feel so soft and amazing against mine. Just for a split second, kissing her didn't seem so wrong. It didn't seem like such a sin my parents make it out to be. I didn't mean to kiss her instead of pushing her off of me like I should of. They were just there and I was tempted.

Forgive me, Lord.

"You okay?" Demi asks me.

"Peachy," I lie.

    I'm everything but peachy. I have a sense of energetic rush flowing through my veins. Since it is all very new to me I'm also very dizzy. Sweat beads down the back of my neck. My breathing is heavy and I take deep breathes to try and calm it down.

"Dude will you relax, we're going to a party. Its not like we're going to murder the president." Demi mumbles near my ear.

"I know that but its my first party," I whisper.

"First? You have never went to a party besides the church ones?!"

"Not besides the church ones," I shrug.

"That's just sad," she laughs.

    I don't expect her to understand. She's been going to these kinds of parties since middle school, as for I was volunteering during that time. Can you blame me? I was brought up this way, its not as if I can just suddenly turn into a bad boy. Even if I could or were to become one someday I wouldn't be a jerk. God will always be in my heart no matter what. I don't expect, Demi, someone who I'm sure doesn't pray to understand.

"This is my absolute first one." A deep sigh leaves my chest.

"Good thing I brought the good stuff." She smirks.

"The good stuff?" I asked confused.

The good blankets? I didn't know we were having a sleepover. If I knew of this I would've brought my night light with me.

Her face falls dull and she shakes her head. "You have a lot to learn, child."

Child?

"I'm almost sure I'm older than you," I mumble.

"Yet I'm more experienced." And her smirk returns. 

"I didn't say by experience, I said by age."

"Aren't you like fourteen?" she laughs.

"Is that suppose to be a joke?"

"Only cool and funny people understand it," she snickers.

"Well excuse me." I let a laugh out.

"You clean up nice by the way." She smiles while checking out my outfit.

"Thanks." I smile back.

    No one has ever taken time to observe my outfit, except for my mother of course. But that's different, she always observes my church clothing. "What would people say if we don't clean up our appearances?" mother always says. Sometimes its confusing because its a sin to judge, yet she cares so much if people do. Maybe she always wants everything perfect so we don't get judged? That's why we never get judged. So in a way I'm thankful for her constant nags.

    I don't feel comfortable having Demi or any other girl checking me out. Its a weird feeling. . . I almost feel insecure. That's a silly thing for a boy to say, right? Wrong. We are just as insecure as girls. I suppose girls have much more things they get insecure about but its almost the same.