I'm Not Like Him [boyxboy]

Chapter 17

So, you guys are definitely going to hate me. I apologise in advance for any murderous feelings you may have towards me by the end of this chapter :3 

Comment and fan ♥

A tense silence lingers over us and not a single emotion flickers behind River's blue eyes. His face remains expressionless, like he doesn't know what to say.

“Why?” He finally speaks, his voice quiet and his eyes on the floor.

“I don't know. I can't explain it.” I reply, swallowing hard.

I didn't want to feed him some romantic bullshit about how amazing he is or how attractive he is because none of it explains why I feel the way I do.

I simply don't know.

“Oh.” He looks up at me and meets my gaze. “Are you sure that you don't just miss the sex?”

“I'm sure. I miss you, River. Over these past few months, all I've done is think about you. It's killing me inside and I need to stop running away from you.” I admit.

“Alex...I can't do this. I don't understand.”

“What?” I question, my heart racing.

“One minute, you can't get enough of me and then the next; you can't wait to get rid of me.” He elaborates. “I don't get it.”

“River, I don't understand myself. But that was before. That was before all of this and now, I feel different, okay? It's just that my head's all over the fucking place.” I speak, running a hand through my hair.

“So was mine when I told you I was falling for you but you still let me go.” He spat.

“I know, okay? And I'm sorry but things have changed. I've changed.” I emphasise, unsure as to whether or not he wants me the way I do him.

“You've changed? Alex, people like you don't change. I know that you're just going to use me and then when someone better comes along, you're going to leave me.” I open my mouth to protest but he shakes his head and scoffs. “Just like you did to Taylor.”

“That's not fair.” I say bitterly,

“But that's exactly what you did. I was falling in love with you but you went back to her. What if it happens again?” His voice shakes with fear and he doesn't look at me.

“It wouldn't, River. She's gone.” I reassure him, closing the distance between us. I hesitate before placing a hand on his arm and he flinches but doesn't move away from me.

“You scare me, you know. Just the way you think and the way you touch me. I've never met someone like you.” He looks at me with eyes full of wonder.

“And what about you? Do you think that I'm happy to be having this conversation with you? I don't want to feel like this either but I do and I can't help it.” I answer him, playing with my hands.

 I look up and see something snap in his eyes. His face changes as he stares at me and it's silent again until he speaks.

“You're not good for me and I'm definitely not right for you. You just need to forget about me and move on with your life. I don't want to do this but I have to. For both of us. We won't be good together and you're just going to end up hurting.” His tone shakes a little and I know he doesn't believe in what he's saying.

River opens the door and looks back at me with dead eyes. Like he's tired of all of this and he wishes he never met me.

“I'm sorry.”