Take My Hand

Chapter 13 - Daymare

'Liar! Liar! Liar!' the crowd chanted. Mitsue squatted and clasped her eyes tightly. The chant grew louder. 'Liar! Liar! Liar!' Everywhere she looked, she saw the same contempt and spite in their eyes, heard the same irate tone in their voice.

'N-No, I'm not!' Mitsue choked on her words. Their stares swarmed and spun around her, burning into her very soul, eating away at what little pride and dignity that was left. Overwhelming. Suffocating. Mitsue sucked in sharp breaths at the familiar sense of fear and despair that overcame her frantic mind. 

'No! I'm not! I'm not a liar!' she squeezed her eyes shut and screamed into the crowd. 'I'm not a liar! Stop it! STOP IT!' Yet the chant only picked up pace and volume as more students joined in the accusation, taunting her, pushing her to her limit. 

Mitsue felt as though she was falling into an abyss of echoes, the resounding waves only becoming more deafening and rapid as she plummeted deeper in the dark, endless pit. Anyone would have flailed their arms in a desperate bid to find something to hold onto. Anyone would have screamed in panic for someone to help them. 

But Mitsue knew it was no use, at least for her. Especially her. No matter how she struggled against it, how she called for help, she knew the fight was hers and hers alone. It was the same each time. That lonely, hopeless fight, one which she always lost. And so Mitsue simply resigned to fate, letting herself fall deeper and deeper into despair.

'Mitsue~' Mitsue's eyes sprang open at the merry voice. It was a voice she had missed so much... but was it...happy? It had been so long since she even heard joy in that voice. Taya? She saw her best friend in their former school uniform, her straight black hair swaying with the slight breeze. She was... smiling.

'Mitsue!' she called out again, nodding reassuringly as she held out her hand.

'Taya!' Tears came to Mitsue's eyes. 'I missed you so much!' she cried happily, momentarily forgetting about the jeers and taunts that tormented her. Mitsue wanted to throw herself at her, to embrace her and hold her tight once more. She reached out for Taya's outstretched hand. She was so real, so so real. But Mitsue's fingers had barely brushed against her skin when Taya recoiled from the slight touch, leaving Mitsue's little hand hovering in the air. Waves of hurt and confusion swept through her.

'T-Taya?' she croaked uncertainly. In an instant, a crying girl replaced her cheerful friend. Tears cascaded down her smooth cheeks as she sobbed silently against the back of her arm, her bangs concealing her red, puffy eyes. She sniffed and choked, solitude and suffering radiating from her in strong surges; a sad darkness so deep it would stain any heart, one so stifling even the prettiest flower would wilt in contact. Mitsue couldn't look away from the painful sight.

'Taya, I'm here.' It was her turn to call out for her friend. Taya looked up, shook her head and ran.

'Taya!' Mitsue took after her. She would not repeat the same mistake again. This time, this time she would catch her before it was too late. This time, she would definitely save Taya from her misery. Mitsue put all her might into running, her resolve strengthening with each pound. Yet with every step she took, the corridor seemed to lengthen twice as fast. Mitsue looked on in despair as the distance between them grew, her friend's back diminishing by the second.

 'Taya!' Mitsue screamed frantically. Why was she running away from her? She willed her legs to move faster, to work harder. Already, she was panting. But why wasn't she catching up? The corridor stretched on as distorted shadows warped and twisted. Was it an illusion? And then it dawned on her. The fact that she had been running on the spot, that she couldn't progress. Why? Why couldn't she? She tried sprinting one last time but it turned out equally futile. She was still on the same spot.

'Taya, come back, come back, please!' she pleaded, her voice not betraying that sense of helplessness in her. She hated herself. Up till now, she was still so weak, so helpless, so desperate. She continued running, screaming her distress and frustrations into the air, her eyes now spilling tears of desperation.

Then, as sudden as the click of a release button, she could move. Not move, but move-move. The doors and lockers whizzed past as she sped through the long corridor, her thumps and pants resounding and bouncing off the walls. Was it this long? Mitsue didn't care. All she wanted was to reach the end of the hallway, the door in which she had seen Taya go through.

'Taya!' she shouted once more as she burst into the room. A glare of sunlight pierced her eyes, causing her to flinch and cover them in reflex as she turned away from the sudden brightness. 

Nani? Mitsue blinked hard, forcing her eyes to adjust to the light quicker. She needed to find Taya. The chirping of birds filled the air and the leaves rustled in the wind. What, she was outdoors now? She took a cautious step forward, wondering where she was. She couldn't see properly just yet, but by the sounds of it, she was most probably stepping on grass. Gradually, her vision returned, and as she squinted at the only tree before her, instincts screamed for her to divert her gaze, to turn around and walk away. 

But all Mitsue could do was to stare at the scene that was becoming clearer by the second. The blood-curdling scene that was out-of-place- even obscene- amidst the peace and tranquility of the garden. She stared as the blurry silhouette came into focus, stared as the rope became defined, stared as the angry swells and dried-up blood around the victim's neck intensified in colour. It was unmistakable.

'LIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!' Mitsue screamed and fell backwards in a frenzy, her eyes still locked on Taya's limp body as she hung from the tree, her soulless eyes bearing into hers.

Mitsue screamed and screamed and screamed.

'Aaahhh!!!' Mitsue woke up still screaming as she jolted upright, the death scene of her friend still fresh in her mind. The house was silent as usual. Mitsue glanced at her alarm clock. It read 11.49 pm- still long before her parents came back. She remained in position for a few long minutes, sitting atop her sweat-soaked sheets as she tried to steady her breathing. 

Y-yume? But everything felt so real. The pain, the suffering, the anguish and despair. From the taunts of her schoolmates to her usual sense of helplessness, to Taya's suicide. It was as though the experience in her new school had triggered an uncontrollable wave of old memories and emotions, the ones that she had tried so hard to bury and suppress. Yet they came back, stronger than before. 

Her fears, her regrets, her nightmares. 

They were so real- no- Mitsue corrected herself. They were real. They had become real. It didn't really matter if it was dream or reality. She knew it would be no different even if she woke up to the living nightmare she was thrown into. Yes, it was no different. A bubble of acid rose in her throat. Mitsue threw off her blankets, hugging her knees as she curled herself up into a ball. It was no different.

'Taya... what am I supposed to do... taskete...' she sobbed into her knees, clutching her aching chest, so wanting to rip her her wrenching heart out.