Hey... Please Read

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Hey... I know I haven't been updating like how I used to, but there is a reason. And I know excuses shouldn't be used but I just...


I don't know, I feel empty.


I feel tired all damn day. I don't want to do the stuff I want to such as writing, and I feel like a robot, waiting to be commanded.

My parents yelled at me today because I have a "bad attitude and it needs to stop".

But it's not that, I'm just not feeling like myself, and if you keep annoying me, I'm going to snap.

My dad slammed my door so hard I was frozen and my mom called me downstairs and yelled at me hard. I had a panic attack when I went to my room so bad that I couldn't move. I was shaking, crying, couldn't breathe or talk. 

My dad says "I should just stay home, all I am is just a BCD student, I don't study, I don't care what happens to her." while my mom just let him say it, agreeing with him.

I apologized, but do you say that to your daughter? Just because I added a little whiny voice?

  No, because now instead of feeling lost, I am now feel lost, disappointed, and I don't know... just sad.

I have had this hole in my stomach, and I can't fill it, I don't know what to do anymore. All these negative thoughts are filling my head, I can't do it. School is stressing me out, the future is stressing me out, my own FAMILY is stressing me out and I don't know what to do.

My grades are dropping, so guess what? I am a disappointment, I can't love myself, I feel as if I am just a shell, and I need to break out,

I can't do it. I am not ending the book, I promise you that. And I hope you forgive me. I am so sorry for the wait and this isn't a chapter. Please... just please bear with me.

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 21, 2019 ⏰

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