Can't Get Along (Levi X Reader)

14. It's Complicated

Erwin POV

I ushered the cadets out of the room and sent them all to go do some more training. I knew I would have to have a talk with Levi and (Name) about this relationship of theirs but that could wait a few days, I suppose. The little reunion had pulled at my own heart and I knew they would both need some time alone with each other before I butted in. After all, we had all thought that she was dead for the past week and now we knew she had made it back safely. With one last glance at the two, I walked off down the hall to go back to my office and distract myself with some paperwork.

Reader POV

I carefully walked Levi back to the bed I was resting in before and sat down with him, still keeping my arms around his shoulders as he tried to calm down. I'd never once seen him cry or even look close to crying so this had shocked me but at the same time, it warmed my heart to see him so vulnerable just because of me. But just as he had comforted me that night in the cabin all those weeks ago, I didn't say anything, just let him get it out of his system, holding onto him to let him know that I was here and that I wasn't going anywhere.

It took him a few long minutes to recompose himself and pull away from my embrace. I looked over at him as he wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve, sniffling and then clearing his throat. When he noticed me staring he shot me a half-hearted glare and I chuckled. "I won't talk about it, don't worry." "Tch..." he huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, looking away from me but I knew he wasn't actually upset at my idle teasing. "Don't you ever scare me like that again." He spoke up after a short moment of silence and I leaned over to place a light kiss on the side of his head. "I won't. I promise." He gave me a suspicious glare at that word, not trusting it since I'd half broken my last promise. "Fine, fine. I won't make any more promises I can't keep for sure."

I leaned against his shoulder and sighed as we sat in comfortable silence for a while longer. "You think Erwin will take me off your squad now that he knows about us?" I asked out of the blue and Levi leaned his head against mine, taking my hand in his. He rubbed his thumb over the back of it and frowned. "He might. But I hope he doesn't." Was his simple response and I smiled sadly. It was highly likely that's what Erwin would do and I didn't want to be separated from Levi. And it was obvious that he felt the same way. What did we have together anyway? Neither of us had said those three words and I knew that 'love' was out of the question even if that might be the only word I could think of to describe my strong feelings for him. It was something similar, that I knew. But actual love? I wasn't so sure. I mean, I was plenty happy never hearing those words come from Levi's mouth and he seemed perfectly content to not hear them from me. We both understood what the other felt. A complicated mixture of sexual attraction and familial attachment. That's what I would call it. But I still couldn't put my finger on a better word to describe that other than love.

As I thought more about it, my voice worked faster than my mind could think and I sat up properly, looking over at Levi. "Levi..." I started and waited as he turned to look directly into my eyes, a silent cue to continue now that I had his full attention. "I really cherish you. I just thought you should know that." His eyes widened slightly at the confession, not expecting it but soon his lips curled up into a smile and he leaned over to kiss my cheek softly. "That's a much better word for it than love. I like it. I cherish you too, (Name). Now, you should get some rest and eat some more. I'll come to see you again tomorrow, okay?" He said and stood, lifting my hand and kissing the back of it before letting it go. I laughed a little and smiled up at him. "You promise?" He rolled his eyes and nodded. "I promise. I'll see you tomorrow." And with that Levi walked out of the infirmary and I sighed happily, flopping back on the bed to look up at the ceiling. It felt so good to put my feelings into words and it actually felt better to hear that he cherished me rather than loved me.

~~~~

Levi visited me in the infirmary every day that I was there and we would spend some time talking or cuddling to pass what little amount of free time he had during the day. But eventually, the nurses cleared me to be healthy enough to start training again and that was when Erwin called Levi and me into his office to have a talk that I'm sure all three of us had been dreading. I sat down in the chair next to Levi's across the desk from Erwin who was resting his chin on the back of his interlaced fingers, his elbows on his desk. "I'm sure you both know what this is about?" He asked and got two curt nods in response. He hummed in thought and sat back in his chair, crossing an arm over his chest and rubbing his chin with the other.

"Then I don't need to explain that this is not exactly acceptable within the military. Levi, I know you have experienced first hand exactly why this sort of thing should be avoided at all costs and I won't punish you further. Thinking that you lost the person you love is punishment enough. As for you, (Name). I'm seriously considering moving you from Squad Levi to my squad." Erwin was interrupted by an angry looking glare from Levi who actually spoke up a second later. "I can put the missions first. Leave her on my squad. She's proven that she can survive out there all on her own without even a horse or extra blades. There's nothing for me to worry about anymore." I watched Erwin's reaction carefully, wondering just what he thought about this outburst.

The Commander raised a bushy eyebrow at Levi, staring right into the man's silver eyes with an intensity I couldn't comprehend in the moment. He then locked that intense stare right at me and I swallowed a lump in my throat, involuntarily shrinking back into my chair. Normally, I wasn't afraid of Commander Erwin in the least but that intensity in his gaze demanded submission from his subordinates. "What about you, Cadet (Name)? Can you continue to put the mission first if you remain on Squad Levi? Even if he is in danger?" He finally asked me and I hesitated much to the Commander's distaste. I looked over at Levi and sighed then looked back at the Commander. "Yes, sir. I can put the mission first because I believe that Levi will always make it out alive. He is Humanity's Strongest Soldier." I held Erwin's icy blue gaze with newfound confidence and he appeared to be impressed.

"You're dismissed. Both of you. Go do some training or whatever. I expect both of you to follow your own words and put missions first when they occur. But do try to keep the public displays to a minimum." I smiled slightly and nodded at Erwin's statement, standing up from my chair to head for the door after giving him a quick salute. I heard Levi sigh as he got up and followed after me. He sounded relieved to have this behind us now.