Tom has recently been struggling with life, he hasn't been diagnosed but Edd and Matt are concerned that he is depressed. Edd makes him go to therapy and the therapist is Tord.
(Tom and Tord don't know each other in this book until they meet.)
Tom i...
It's 2am. I threw my pillows at the wall, tears streaming down my face. I kept throwing shit around my room. I sat down against the wall, burying my head into my knees. Hugging myself, I rocked back and forth. I knew I should of listened to that gut feeling. "FUCKING HELL!" I screamed. Shaking, I stood up, walking to my desk, grabbing the knife. I sat on my bed with the knife in hand. I held it up to the skin on my wrist and I cut, watching the thick red blood run down my arm. Every time I cut I named a reason.
"Stupid!"
"Worthless piece of shit!"
"Ugly dumbfuck!"
"No one loves you and no ones ever going to!"
"You should just end it all now!"
I sobbed, the blood dripping onto my pants.
"I should just go kill myself right? WOULD THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?!" YOU NEVER LOVED ME!! HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SUCH A FUCKING FOOL?!" I wiped the tears away and washed out the cuts as much as it stung. I wrapped my arm in fresh bandages.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I lifted up my sweatshirt revealing my beat up body. Bruises and cuts everywhere. I looked at myself disgusted. Before I even realized what I was doing I found myself bringing my fist up, only to hear shattered glass, as glass fractals met and pierced my now cut and red skin. I looked back into the broken mirror. Broken. That's more accurate. With shaky hands I cleaned up the glass and cleaned my raw knuckles, bandaging those as well. I cleaned off the knife, putting it back and I cleaned my room after I destroyed it. I laid in my bed hugging a pillow, as I cried myself to sleep. Not the first time.
-Next Day- I was sitting on the couch thinking, a blank expression on my face. "Tom, Edd and I are going to work." Matt said. I just raised my arm showing I heard. "Tom maybe you should get a job." Edd said. I scoffed. "Yea as if!" I snapped. "Tom I'm serious, we are worried about you." "Yep I bet you are." I said sarcastically. "Just think about it." He said as they walked out the door. A bit after they left I went to the one place I figured HE would be at.
The gay strip club. (Shameless anyone? :3) I walked in, alcohol stinging my nose, a smell I was all too familiar with. There were flashing lights, loud music and everyone was dancing. The male models that were pole dancing in their trousers and ties were hot, but not my type, I had decided. I looked around through the crowd, scanning the faces, and then I saw them. Yes MY boyfriend cheated on me and had been for the past three weeks. He started treating me like shit, beating me up and calling me things degrading me as if I wasn't already doing that to myself. Things that got to my head and made me feel less of a human. The more he said it the more I believed it, because it wasn't just me telling myself these things, it was someone agreeing with me, someone assuring me that I was right. He had been hooking up with that stupid waiter from the café. They were dancing and having a blast.
I went up to the bar and sat down. A ginger haired boy came over to me. "What Can i Get you?" He asked. "Smirnoff." I said. He slid me a bottle. There were no other customers so we made conversation. "How come You're Here? You look like shit, did something happen?" He asked. "Yea my boyfriend has been cheating on me." I said. "Oh, is he here right now?" He asked. I nodded and pointed to the two fuckfaces. "Those two are regulars here, how long has he been cheating on you?" "Three weeks." I responded. "Dude, Just break up with him." He said. "I can't." "Why not?" He asked. " he's not always a Fuckface, he can be sweet when he wants to be and those actions are the only things that make me feel loved." I explained. He nodded in understanding. I looked up at the boy. "What's your name?" I asked. "Ian." He said sticking out his hand. I shook it. "Thomas but you can call me Tom." I said. "Do you think there's anyway I could get a job here?" I asked. Ian smirked. "Follow me." I got up and followed him into a back room, which was like a hotel room. "Do you live here?" "Yep." He said. "Here try this on." He threw me the same clothes the male models had on. I blushed.
"Aww come on, part of doing it is being comfortable in your own skin, you gotta be confident." Those were things I definitely didn't have. I slipped my hoodie off revealing my bare and bruised chest. "Holy shit he did all that to you?" I nodded looking away. "Doesn't mean your not hot." Ian smirked. I blushed, pulling the white under shirt on, not buttoning it so it showed off my bare chest. Then I took my pants off, changing into the pants he gave me. Then I put on the checkered tie.
(Who's ready for slut Tom? :3)
"How do I look?" I asked looking up at him. "Holy hell..." I blushed. "You look incredible." He said straightening my tie.
(This what Im trying to describe)
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(Lol he's so cute)
"So can you dance?" He asked. I thought about it. "I guess I've never really tried." "Here I'll help you learn a few moves and then you can do your first performance." He said putting on some music. I gulped. "Just follow me ok?" He said. I nodded, I wanted to give that son of a bitch a show to make him see what he's missing! But when he comes crawling back he can't have me!
After a bit of practicing I managed to get some moves down. "Are you ready?" Ian looked at me. I nodded "as ready as I'll ever be." I just wanted to get this over with. Ian walked out onto the stage as the other males went to take a break Im assuming. I started to get nervous. I knew I was gonna get a beating from him later, but I needed to get this out of my system. And hek I really liked to dance. In that moment I felt hope. Like everything was gonna be ok, Sure I've sunken to the bottom of the pits to make money, but now the only direction you can go is up right?
I smiled slightly. "Alright we have a new member of the crew tonight, who will be doing his first performance with yours truly!!!!" I heard Ian yell. Everyone cheered. Ian came back and grabbed my wrist. The lights were out, I was gonna improvise and follow along the best I could. I love dancing, though I'll never admit it. The music started playing as the lights moved and we were on. We started dancing. Halfway through I made eye contact with Ely. He looked pissed. I smirked. I knew I was gonna get beat later.
