Therapy

A New Approach

-Toms POV-
"Im not fucking going back to that hell hole!" I spat at Edd who was trying to drag me out of my room cause I would be late for my appointment. "Tom it's been two days what could have possibly happened in two days?" Edd cocked his head awaiting an answer a slight pink color dusted my cheeks and the bridge of my nose. I fell in love....

I growled. "That's what I thought now let's go!" Edd said grabbing my arm. I smacked his hand off of me. "DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I snapped. I shivered as I was reminded of the pain once again. But then I had remembered the warmth I felt when Tord had carried me. My blush darkened.

I grabbed my crutches and hobbled along following Edd to the car. Matt was already in the car.

The whole ride there I stared blankly out the window. "Whats even the point of this?" I mumbled out. "So you can get better and be happy." Matt said. "I don't want to be happy I'm fucking fine just the way I am." I spat. "Some may believe that." Edd commented. "The fucks that supposed to mean?" I glared at Edd. "Tom we aren't stupid, we know what goes on in your room at night when you think we are sleeping." Edd said. I froze. He couldn't possibly know what I've done to myself could he? "Yea so fucking what?" I stared out the window again.

-timeskip-

I hobbled in to the office. Tord turned and smiled at me. I flicked him off and sat on the couch. Edd and Matt gone. I waited to be attacked by aggravating questions but they never came. I looked up at Tord to see his back to me. It seems as he was busy? We have an appointment though? I furrowed my brows in confusion. "So can we just get this the fuck over with?" I said. Still no response. "Fine ignore me like i care. You think I care but I don't I've been ignored my whole fucking life what's new?" I spat as I stared at the ceiling.

Still nothing happened.

-An hour later-

I got up trying to stretch my legs because as the  days moved on they just got more stiff. I wasn't getting better I was getting worse. It was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down. I won't be able to walk I'll have to take medication upon medication for my back. Eventually I'll starve which will cause a bunch more problems... then I'll eventually go insane and drive myself to Suicide. I threw my crutches down in an attempt to stand on my own (hahaha get it? U probably don't it's a song I'll link it in the top lol) my hands thrashed out in front of me as I tried to keep my balance. "Fuck!" I yelled as I fell to the ground with a loud thump. More sharp pain shooting up back. 

That caused Tord to look at me. I glared at him. Pathetic I could only gain his attention through pain? What a joke. I'm outta here. I slowly pulled myself back up. "I-I'm leaving." I said wobbling to the door without my crutches. I stopped, my hand on the door knob. I looked out of the corner of my eye. Tord was paying no attention to me whatsoever. I growled. I don't know why this made me so mad. But my rage got the better of me. I whipped myself around.

"Listen up horn head." I spat trying to insult his hair. He turned to me an amused look in his eye. That just pissed me off more. I clenched my fists my nails digging crescent moons into my skin. "I don't know what your trying to pull off, and if you think your ignorant ass is helping me by paying no attention to me and leaving me to fucking dark and depressing thoughts then your wrong!" I spat out. Tears welled up in my eyes. "I'm not getting any fucking better! CANT U SEE THAT?! IM GETTING WORSE!!! My legs are getting stiffer by the day... I have to keep taking painkillers for my fucking back that hurts like a fucking bitch! And in case you haven't noticed I'm a fucking depressed emo insomniac basket case that should fucking kill himself because he doesn't deserve a fucking spot on this earth!" I spat tears now falling down my cheeks. I grabbed my upper arm with my other arm holding it as I looked up at Tord. He was smiling but why? I scoffed and opened the door.

"I'm not coming back..." I said as I left. I pulled my hood tight around my head as I walked in the direction of downtown. I plugged in my headphones and played music trying to clear my head. I kept my gaze fixed on the ground knowing exactly where I was going.

When I did look up people smiled at me and I didn't know what to do. People don't usually acknowledge me. So I didn't do anything. I just kept walking. It started to get slightly darker and I looked up at the sky. "Curse you Fall weather." And a few minutes later it started sprinkling. Then as I kept walking the sprinkles turned to rain and then to pouring and then to full on shower of water that came down hard and heavy. I ran and ran. I stopped in front of my destination. I looked in the window to see the rows upon rows of books. I smiled. A genuine smile. I haven't smiled in god who knows how long.

It's been awhile since I made it to the local bookstore. That was one of my guilty pleasures. Books. I used to be a part of a book reading club here. We met all the time but then one day my mood started sinking and then I stopped showing up thinking if I came back everyone would be mad at me. And that guilt grew in my chest everyday until it overwhelmed me. I walked in the door, the bell ringing signaling someone had entered. A sharp pain shot up my back. "Tsch!" I fell to my knees. "Oh my god Tom is that you?!"

"Here let me help you!" The feminine voice said reaching her hand out to touch me. I know I trusted her but ever since that night I couldn't let people touch me. So I smacked her hand away. I stared at the ground a numbness in my gaze. The silence was overwhelming.

(The girls are here! :D)

"I-I'm sorry." I said looking up at Tori. She looked at me concerned. "Is everything alright?" She asked. I shook my head no. I pulled myself up and followed her. We sat down in the nook area with the rest of the girls. "Where's everyone else?" I questioned. "Oh we changed the meeting times." Tori explained. "Anyways whats up with you? You don't look so good." Tori commented. And with that I spent the afternoon explaining everything.

"So your doing therapy sessions with my brother? Tori asked. I nodded. Tord and Tori are sublimes but Tord lives with their dad/dads and Tori lives with their mom. "Tom what's holding you back from getting better?" Matilda asked. "I-I.....I don't know." I said. "Oh my god." Tori exclaimed. "What?" I looked at her confused. "Your totally in love with him!" She exclaimed. My eyes widened. "WHAT THE HELL?!" I snapped. "SHHHH!!!" Everyone looked at us.

"He's gay you know" Tori said I blushed. "What do you like about him?" She asked. I sighed. "He's...he's patient with me, he never gets mad or yells, he always has a smile on his face and he's caring...like he really cares about his patients... but I've been such a dickhead to him and theres no way it would ever happen... he's way outta my league." I explained. Everyone giggled. "Guess we will see about that." Tori said. "Anyways we gotta go so come here more often so we can talk and let me know how things go k?" She asked. I nodded. Then they left.

I looked outside it was starting to rain harder and it was getting dark. I gulped. I got up and looked for a book.