Therapy

Attempt 2

-Toms POV-
"Tom your going to stay in that damn room for the full time and actually maybe we should make it longer since you took off yesterday hmm?" Edd snapped. I growled. I was so sick of all this bullshit. "What's the fucking point?! I'm never getting better, I'm gonna be stuck with a limp and a fractured ankle with shooting back pain for the rest of my fucking life!" I snapped as I was pushed into the building. Everyone looked at us and I immediately flushed in embarrassment.

"Oh Tom I didn't think you would show today." Tord said walking over to greet me. "Yea whatever don't flatter yourself." I said i glared at Edd and he smiled giving me a thumbs up. I followed Tord back to his office struggling to get there. But the whole time Tord was patient. He didn't get annoyed or frustrated with my struggling. Everytime I stopped he stopped as well. It made me frustrated that he wasn't getting frustrated. We had finally reached his office and he held the door open for me. I blushed but made sure he couldn't see. I hobbled over to the couch and settled with a pillow underneath my foot with the brace.

"How come you didn't get mad?" I asked him. He looked at me. "What do you mean?" He asked furrowing his brows. "Doesn't it bother you how slow I am because I can't walk properly?" I asked confused as to how he couldn't be annoyed. He chuckled. "Not at All." I didn't understand but I left it alone. "Catch." He said tossing me another granola bar. "Your gonna eat that. You may get away with not eating at Edds but not here I won't allow it." I groaned. How am I supposed to continue trying to slowly die if he's trying to hecking feed me.

Regardless I ate the granola bar. Let me tell you I wanted more but I had to resist. My stomach growled. "Here let's test this out." He said handing me an apple. "I need to figure out how much you eat so if you can eat that apple as well without throwing up, then that's good." I devoured the apple... but my stomach wasn't having it. Tord had already supplied a trash bin by me Incase. I hung my head over it. Throwing up the little bit that was in my system. Tears stung my eyes. "I-it hurts...!" I sobbed out. He rubbed my back soothingly. "I know. It's ok your gonna be ok, your gonna get through this, I'm gonna help you." Normally I would have slapped his hand away but this time I didn't.

After a few more minutes my system finally settled down. I wiped my mouth. "Here drink this, you still need something in your system." He said handing me a mineral water. I drank it. Praying that wouldn't come back up too.

I wiped the sweat off of my forehead calming down. Tord sat in the chair by his desk. "Alright shall we continue?" He asked. I gritted my teeth I was not in the mood for more bullshit. "Have you ever self harmed your self or tried to commit suicide or had suicidal thoughts?" He asked me, a gentle but serious tone in his voice. I hesitated. How much do I really want to tell him? I wouldn't be harassed as much if I just told him.... but at the same time I still have my walls up and he doesn't need to break through. "No." I commented. He nodded writing something down. "Have you ever been abused physically or verbally?" He asked.

I flinched. The tears immediately came to my eyes and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I was having a panic attack. My breathing became ragged and short as I started gasping for breath. I started sweating. "Tom Can you hear me?" I tried saying yes but i was choking. I felt warmth on my hands it was like it was bringing me back to reality. I looked at Tord his face clear but everything around him blurry. My breathing was still ragged but i tried to calm down. But then Elys face popped into my mind and for a split second Tord looked like Ely. "N-No!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!" I sobbed. I grabbed my crutches stumbling to the door. "Tom wait!" He called out to me. I left. I had to get away. I ran as fast as I could manage. I didn't care how many times I fell, I didn't care about the new scrapes and cuts that were bleeding, I didn't care about the sharp agonizing pain in my back. I ran and ran. All the way down the rocky cliff like bank of the ocean and into the sand. I threw my crutches down. And sat watching the water move back and forth back and forth back and forth a never ending cycle.

I hugged my knees burying my head into them but first pulling my blue hood tight around my head. I sobbed. "W-why... WHY CANT YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

-Tords POV-
I sighed running my fingers through my hair. "Poor kids suffering from a lot..." I looked out the window and to my surprise there was a boy in a blue hoodie sitting by the ocean. "Tom..." I grabbed a water bottle and a first aid kit and some ice. I opened the sliding door and shut it behind me walking down the rocky edge to the ocean. I sat down by him. I didn't touch him and I didn't say anything. I set the water bottle by him. I heard his muffled sobs. I wanted to comfort him but I knew he would only push himself away more. "Must of been pretty recent to trigger a panic attack." I commented.

I could tell he tensed up. "I'm not here to ask you anymore questions. I don't want you to tell me anything your not comfortable with but eventually I will need to know." I told him. He pulled his hood down and wiped his tears. He took the water bottle and drank it.

-Toms POV-
I was still shaking. I was calming down a lot more though. Then i felt a hand on my knee and my reflex kicked in and I slapped Tord across the face. It was a head slap like one of those when's you know it's gonna leave a mark just by the sound. "I-I'm sorry! R-réflex!" I slumped down. I looked up at him to meet his gaze. His cheek was turning really read I wanted to reach out and touch it. Damn my gay tendencies And DAMN YOU TORD LARSON FOR BEING SO DAMN HOT! My cheeks flushed pink slightly. He still smiled gently at me.

"Don't worry it's fine, you've been through a lot, I get it. You're uncomfortable from people touching you.. because the only kind of physical contact Your used to is obviously A-umm..." "Abuse." I finished. "Yea..." i nodded. It made sense. "Tom Im afraid you may be suffering from a severe case of PTSD." I told him. "How many times do these panic attacks happen?" "Every night... and when I run into certain triggers." I told him. Tord nodded. "Tom your hurt. I know you are because I know you didn't make it here without falling. Can I please see?" He asked me. I gulped.

I was exhausted and just wanted to go home so I gave in. I pulled my hoodie off leaving me in a black T-shirt showing off my cut up arms. Great. I saw his eyes widen. But he pushed it away. He rolled up my pants past my knees slightly and applied alcohol to the scrapes. He did the same to my arms. When he was done I pulled my hoodie back on.

Tord stood up. He held out a hand to me his face bright and cheerful. I didn't understand him. How could he be so happy and hopeful and patient even with a pathetic person like me. I grabbed his hand and pulled myself up only to be met with more pain. "Tsch." I grites my teeth. "I know you don't want this but it would hurt less if I carried you." He said. I nodded not processing what he said. I just wanted the pain to go away.

Before I knew it I was swept off my feet and I looked up at Tords face. I was in a trance. I buried my head into his chest. "Tord Your so warm..." I said as he carried me.

-Tords POV-
My face flushed red when he said that. I carried him up back to my office and got him settled on the couch. "You have to be more careful, you hurt yourself more which means you just set yourself up for more physical therapy." I explained to him.

"Whatever it's not gonna do anything anyways." He mumbled. I sighed. "Tom in order to get better you have to want it." I said. "OF COURSE I FUCKING WANT TO GET BETTER! YOU THINK I LIKE FALLING ON MY FACE EVERY FIVE STEPS?! IM PATHETIC AND A JOKE!" And with that Tom up and left.

I sighed furrowing my brows. I had to come at this at a new approach..