Therapy

Self Love

-Toms POV-
I sat on the edge of my bed looking at the floor holding my hands in my lap. "Tom look at me." I looked up at him without moving my head. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and i couldn't stop them. Tord lifted my chin. "Hold Your head high. Today starts OUR journey of self love." He emphasized our. I nodded.

He put his hand on my cheek. Then grabbed my hands with his, pulling me up. He lead me into the bathroom. "Take your sweatshirt and shirt off." He instructed. I looked at him like he was crazy, but his eyes only held reassurance and warmth. I did as told. He moved me so I was standing in the mirror. I felt exposed and weak, like he was judging me.

My body wasn't something I was proud of. I was way thinner than I should be. My chest, abdomen and pex are all covered in scars of self hate. My arms and wrists have scars of hate too. "Look at yourself and tell me what you see." He rested his chin on my shoulder looking at me through the mirror.

"I-I see someone that's weak....pathetic and worthless. Someone that doesn't deserve life. I see hurt, broken, ugly, disgusting..." I sobbed. Tord hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek.

"What do you think I See?" He asked.

"The same....someone that is weak so you pity them, I think you look down on me. I feel like I'm too clingy and not enough for you... I think I'm a burden to you, or like a disappointment..." Tord looked sad.

"Do you want to know what I see?" He asked me still looking at me through the mirror. I nodded.

"I see someone that is Strong, I see kind, I see sensitive, I see powerful, I see loving, lovable and loved, I see worth it, I see enough. I see brave. I see funny and caring. I see soft and gentle."

How does he see all these things that I don't?

"By the end of our self love journey, you are gonna see yourself in a positive way, you're gonna love yourself." I nodded.

"We are gonna start by every morning, I want you to get up, and the first thing you do, is look at yourself in a mirror, and tell yourself you are worth it. Try it right now." Tord said.

"I-I can't...." I sobbed.

"Yes you Can. Three words that's all it is.... you are enough." He said.

I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. "You are enough." I told myself. But it didn't feel right.

"How Did that feel?" He asked. "It felt wrong...it felt like I didn't deserve to even say that to myself."

Tord kissed my head. "You deserve it the most out of all of the patients Im currently working with." He whispered to me. I nodded trying to believe him.

———

"A part of self love also means self care, so I took the day off so that I could take you out all day, and do some stuff for you!" Tord clapped his hands together smiling.

"Ok...as long as it's not anything stupid." I said looking at Tord. "Great Let's go!" He said grabbing my hand and dragging me out the door. We got in the car and zip zapped away until we were at some little store.

"Where are we?" I asked. "Hair salon!" Tord said excitedly. I looked at him like he was crazy. "What's wrong with my hair?" I asked. "It's a bit long, and also I thought it would be good for the professionals to give it a good wash and cut out all your split ends and crap." Tord explained. I nodded.

-timeskip-

When they finished my hair, which I was in love with but I won't admit that, I walked out to Tord who was reading a book waiting. He stood up and came over to me. "It looks amazing!" He clasped his hands together. "Can I touch It?" He asked. I nodded.