Past Honeymoon: BTOB IHS

Chapter 5

P A S T  H O N E Y M O O N
_________________________
_________________________

"We are all broken.
That's how light
gets in."
ㅡErnest Hemingway
________________________
________________________

Chapter 5 | SERA

"I'll kiss you before I leave and when I come home. Every day. I'll hug you in your sleep every night. I'll sing you a song whenever you're sad. I promise."

Those words echo in my head as I kiss him. His forgotten promise. The tears fall down my face again as he kisses me back. His hand finds its way at the back of my neck and I wrap my arms around his waist, basking in his warmth.

The kiss so deep and passionate, you'd think we're still in love. You'd think he's still in love.

We pull away, catching our breaths. "Sera-"

"Sssh," I kiss him again. I don't want to hear anything. I just want him.

Hyunsik pulls me close and impossibly closer. I don't protest when he carries me. I wrap my legs around his waist.

Clothes fly everywhere when we reach the bedroom. As I lay beneath him and I trace the lines on his body, I wonder why do we have to lose people that we love?

He kisses me again. Fiery. As if we've been both holding back for too long.

And maybe we have.

His hands are gentle on my body. His kisses are hot and soft everywhere. And we make love slowly.

I pull his head close to mine and kiss him as tears keep rolling down my cheeks. No, it's not physically painful. Maybe it's my heart that's in so much pain. God. I can't give him a child. Why can't I give him a child?

Hyunsik sees my tears and worry fills his eyes. "Hey, you okay?"

I nod. He dries my tears with kisses and God, I love him. I still love him very much.

We lose ourselves for a while and then it's over. Hyunsik rolls down beside me and we stare at the ceiling for a while. He's probably wondering what the hell. Because, same, love.

"Hyunsik?"

"Hm?" He turns to me and looks at me like he's ready to give me everything I'd ask for. Why is he looking at me like that?

"I'll sing you a song whenever you're sad. I promise."  It echoes in my head.

"Can you sing me a song?" I ask.

He looks at me with a hint of surprise. "Really? Now?"

"Yes, now."

Hyunsik is quiet for a while. He pulls me close and I lay my head on his arm as a pillow, one hand on his chest. He clears his throat and then, he begins.

I close my eyes and let his deep, beautiful voice fill my ears as his hands stroke my hair softly.

I met you
And fell in love
That moment,
I was happier than ever
Please don't be in pain
I hope our love was beautiful
in your memories

• •

The next day, I wake up without him by my side and there's an immediate sinking feeling in my chest. I look around and see him coming out of the bathroom. He doesn't see me yet. He hurries to dress up for work.

I get up and throw a shirt on.

He turns to me and we just look at each other for a while. I look away blushing.