Past Honeymoon: BTOB IHS

Chapter 16

P A S T  H O N E Y M O O N
_______________________________
_______________________________

"Have enough courage
to trust love one more
time. And always one
more time."
ㅡMaya Angelou
________________________________
________________________________

Chapter 16 | SERA

Hyunsik and I are home. We sit quietly in the living room. The divorce papers lie on the center table.

"I don't know what you want from me." I finally say quietly.

"I want you to stay with me." Hyunsik replies. I look at him and there's despair in his eyes. "I want us to work this out."

"Why do you have to make this so hard? I'm giving you the chance to run away, to go find someone else who can give you what I can't."

"I don't want anyone else. I want you. I want to be with you. I told you. I don't care, Sera. I still love you."

My heart melts so easily. I look away. Hyunsik takes my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine. It feels so right, it makes me want to cry.

"Please stay with me." He pleads.

"Hyeri." I say.

"Jeez. Hyeri? Look, she really just dropped by that day and I invited her in because it's polite. We just talked. I told her about you. She asked how our relationship had been. I told her the truthㅡthat it's rocky and not perfect, but I still want you to stay in my life and I want us to get through this."

"But her bracele-"

"I don't know how it got there, but she asked to go to the bathroom and jeez. We only have one, so I told her to go inside the room. I promise we didn't do anything of what you're thinking. I would never."

"That snake." I mutter, wiping tears from my eyes.

Hyunsik smiles a little. "I can't say I love you when you're jealous. It scares me."

"You better."

"Sera, didn't I write a song for you? You know how much songs mean to me. You know how much I mean them, too. And you're really the one that I want in my life." He says softly. "I'm sorry for all the things that I did that hurt your feelings. Can we start over again?"

I sigh. "I'm sorry, if I was such a pain in the ass."

He chuckles. "We both were."

I sigh again. "I don't know if I'm being stupid again. Why do you have to have this power on me? Like, I just want to give you everything to make you happy."

Hyunsik pulls me close and kisses my temple. "I don't need everything. I just want you in my life."

"Why aren't you going to work?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I'm kinda suspended. I couldn't focus, so my boss told me to take a break. I just can't stop thinking about you, about us."

"Well, I've been suspended too. I just couldn't stop crying. It's pathetic."

"I'm sorry."

Those words have been recycled over and over, but they still work each time.

I look at him and he's already looking at me. I slowly wrap my arms around his waist, leaning my ear on his chest where his heart beats steadily. "I love you so insanely much."

"I love you, too. I don't even have the words for how much I feel for you. Just like that time you asked me if I still loved you. I was trying to find the right words to say, to make it right for you to understand that I'll always love you. I'm sorry that I'm always just a step too late, but I hope I'm not now. I love you, Sera. And I don't want to lose you."

I look up, wanting to see his eyes. Hyunsik caresses my cheek and put his lips on mine, kissing me softly and slowly.

As we kiss, I wonder if we're finally surviving the aftermath of our 'happy ending'. In every book and every story where nobody ever tells us what happens after the happy ending, there is this; the pain, the chaos, the make-up and make-fights. At some point, maybe we don't fall out of love, but we do fall apart. We grow apart and we forget all the promises on the previous chapters of our lives when everything was new and happy and beautiful. But maybe it's true that some things have to fall apart to have a chance to fall back together.

And maybe, if we're lucky, we'll make it through and we'll remember the reasons we promised forever with someone.

Maybe love is really comparable to the wind. It comes quietly and it fades, and we forget it exists for a while but somehow it finds its way back, and it makes us feel again.

Hyunsik's eyes sparkle when our lips break apart. "Wow."

"Yeah, let's do that again." I say and kiss him again.

And maybe the wind would fade again at some point and maybe we'd forget it exists, but I decided I'll stay with him and wait until it comes again.

Hyunsik pulls me on his lap and stops the kiss for a while, caressing my cheek. "We're crazy, aren't we?"

I smile. "Divorce, really?"

He laughs. "Yeah, we're crazy. How could I ever."

"I really didn't think I could do it, but I'd do it for you."

"Well, you don't have to. I don't want it." He says and kisses me again, deeper and more passionately. My head spins. My heart drums.

We make love with eyes, with our mouths, with our bodies and souls.

We lay in bed. Hyunsik's head rests against the headboard. I lay on my stomach and we stare at each other, trying not to laugh. "It's getting creepy." I tell him.

"No joke."

I lean over and kiss him. He smiles. I kiss his smile. He grins. I kiss his grin. He chuckles. "What are you doing?" He asks.

"Hey,"

"Yeah?"

"Can you sing for me?" I ask.

His smile fades. "Are you sad?"

I shake my head. "I'm happy. I just want to hear you sing. Sing me one of your songs."

"I wrote a new one while you were gone." He clears his throat, then smiles againㅡhis eyes disappearing before he begins singing.

I saw you just a moment ago,
but why am I thinking of you again?
We're gonna see each other again later
but why am I missing you?
I saw you in my dreams
I keep seeing you
I wish you were next to me all day

I close my eyes, scooting closer to him, feeling his warmth against my body. I place my hand on his chest and I feel his heart beating and his body vibrating as he sings with his beautiful, deep voice like a lullaby that calms my heart and mind.

It's one of those moments I wish I could stop time. It's one of those moments I wish would last forever. And even though in reality, they're just moments and they don't last forever, I just savor it and save it in my head to remember when storm comes our way again, for the coming days it'll be hard to remember why we love each other so, for the days this moment right here becomes fragments of a memory I'd have to desperately hold onto.