Past Honeymoon: BTOB IHS

Chapter 3

P A S T  H O N E Y M O O N
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"You don't know distance
until you've shared
your bed with someone
who's falling out of love
with you."
ㅡBeau Taplin
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Chapter 3 | HYUNSIK

I am working in the living room with coffee in hand even though it was six in the evening, when Yoon Sera comes home.

"Oh, you're home?" I automatically say, not taking my eyes off the laptop screen.

Tomorrow is Sunday. It's our day-off. That means I won't be sleeping in bed alone tonight.

I feel her sit beside me which makes me wonder why. The both of us have developed a habit of going straight to the bedroom when coming home.

And then I smell it. The alcohol.

I look at her and her eyes are closed, head tilted a little bit towards me.

"Have you been drinking?" I ask.

"I'm not drunk." She says lazily, then frowns. "Ah, it's hot."

"The heater has been on." I say, not taking my eyes off her. I sigh and turn my body towards her, and then I start unbuttoning her coat. She sighs. I push her coat off her shoulders and set it aside.

I realize she's wearing a red dress and a pair of red shoes. She's dolled up today.

"Where have you been?" I can't help but ask.

My heart skips a beat when she suddenly buries her face in the crook of my neck. Even though she smells like alcohol, her hair smells so damn good and familiar. I don't think we've been this close in a long time.

On Sunday nights when the both of us don't have to work, we sleep next to each other on bed but with a distance apart.

She doesn't answer my question.

And then I feel it. Like my shoulder is getting wet and warm. Sera's shoulders shake. She's crying.

"You should go to bed." I say.

"Look at you,” she says softly, "You actually seem like you care."

I tense up. She lifts her head and looks at me with those sad eyes. I keep quiet.

"Im Hyunsik," she calls my name repeatedly. "Im Hyunsik, Im Hyunsik... what's our problem?" She asks.

What's our problem?

And then the rain of questions begin.

"Do you not want me anymore?"

I don't know.

"Do you want to leave?"

Maybe. I'm an asshole.

And then a sob escapes her lips. "Do you still love me?" She asks and it hangs in the air between us unlike the previous questions. "Why did we become like this?" She asks again after a while.

"You're drunk." I say.

She pulls away and throws her head back on the couch, closing her eyes.

What is it? What's the answer?

At some point, we were fighting, screaming at each other, hurting each other with words that we're not sure we mean. And then comes the point where maybe we both just got tired. The silence came in. The spaces between us on bed widens. It's like we're just living together for the sake of our marriage.