ONLY YOU - Donghua and Fengjiu [Fanfiction]

Part 4 - Jiheng

Part 4 - Fengjiu's POV

My chest is tight, I couldn't breathe and my mind is running wild. Did I really see Dijun gazing at Jiheng whilst she was dancing or did I imagine it? Was everything Yan Chiwu said true? Dijun is known as the Ice Face God because he has no interest in anyone or anything but I just saw him giving his attention to Jiheng tonight - he even slightly smiled as he watched her. Could his heart actually be swayed by her? Have I lost all hope?

I don't understand... what has happened? Why is their relationship? I can't stop myself asking - Why her? What has she got that I don't... Yes she is beautiful, elegant and talented but I have never given up on us Dijun. I have always stayed true to you. Can you really let go of everything so easily even after all we've been through. Has it all been one-sided the last 3 years?

He has always been so adamant that we were ill-fated - I didn't believe it, I couldn't believe it. I hoped that one day Heaven will be touched by the love I have for Dijun and we could eventually be together... but now... 

Do I really mean nothing to you anymore Dijun? My heart hurts, it still aches for you. It's been so hard to hold back my feelings for you, to see you there in the same room but not being able to go to you, to touch you.

I feel numb. All I can do is to hold back the tears. I hate feeling so helpless, it's all too much and confusing.

I hadn't noticed Cang Yi was still still with me until he lightly shook me - the indented lines across his face suggests that he was worried. I tried to compose myself and reassured him that I was fine and some breeze will do me good. To be honest, at that moment I was grateful for the distraction because apart of me was dying inside. He sat me down behind some trees away from the crowds and went back into the banquet hall to fetch me some warm tea. 

......................

On the otherside of the trees, I could hear two people talking. As they got closer, I could make out that it was Zhi Yue talking to another deity, she called her Jiheng, they seemed to be having a heated discussion. I didn't want to eavesdrop but they were talking about Dijun and curiosity got the better of me. I really wanted to find out what has happened between Jiheng and Dijin - whether it was all true... so I leaned closer to the tree to hear more.

Zhi Yue - Jiheng stop your infatuation with Dijin, he will never fall for you. Stop hovering over him like a bad smell - I know him well, you might be his play thing for a while but he will get bored of you and will toss you aside just like that Fengjiu - you will see. Don't waste your time. I am here for the long run - you don't have a chance.

Jiheng - You know nothing, ever since he saved me and took me to Fan Yin Valley, I have been serving him day in day out for months within the last two years. We have spent so much time together, playing chess and watching sunsets. My love for him has grown stronger and stronger and I know that if he hasn't already - he will soon develop feelings for me too.  I know you are jealous but I will not give up on Dijin. He does not see you as his future Queen, he has never looked at you in that way other than a young niece. You have never had a chance with him. Please do not be so bitter and stand in the way of our happiness. 

Zhi Yue - I am warning you Jiheng - he is not yours to have. Leave before it is too late! You will have no one to blame but yourself.  The longer you stay in the Heavens, the more I will make your time here unbearable. You think you are so special but you are nothing you hear me? You are not the first who has tried to get close to Dijun, many have tried and failed. I on the other hand have never left the Heavens and will always be there for him. He will always be mine. Stop wasting your time. Go back to the Demon World where you belong. Don't think for a second that you are good enough for Donghua Dijun!!! 

I have never liked Zhi Yue, she used to bully me and made my time in Taichen Place a misery. Always made things hard so I couldn't get close to Dijun. I suppose she will be doing the same to Jiheng... I felt a bit sorry for Jiheng, I know how it feels to love Dijun, to go to such lengths to be with him but she wants my Donghua and he is not hers. I was his wife in the mortal realm, I am the one that loves him most.

Jiheng was about to argue back but some deities passed by so they had no choice but to terminate their heated encounter. It was not proper to be heard talking like this in the presence of others.   

The way Jiheng spoke about Dijun filled me with sadness and jealously - Who is Jiheng? Every detail from her regarding Dijun was like a knife to my heart. Jiheng said that Dijin and her spent a lot time together within the last couple of years... no wonder it was so easy for him to move on and forget about me so quickly. How can I not laugh at my own stupidity - how naive of me to even think for a second that I would be special to him? That our memories actually meant something to him. Dijun you really are heartless. Why do I have to love you?

Cang Yi returned with some tea and walked me back to Xiwu Palace. 

I couldn't sleep, it was still too early and my mind was all over the place, so I sat in the forecourt outside my chambers to drink my sorrows away. I looked at the bell charm Dijun gave me - tears uncontrollably streamed down my face. How can I be so wrong, how can things turn out like this for us? What am I to you Dijun?

How can you have feelings for someone else and but tell me we are not fated? What about everything we've been through? Does that not count?

Enough was enough - I need answers. How dare he treat me like this - I deserve an explanation. If Dijun does have feelings for Jiheng then I need to hear it from him. I need him to remember how good things were between us when we were in the mortal realm and when I stayed with him in Taichen Palace as a maid.

If we are ill-fated because of the Rock of Three Lives Incarnation then how can he accept another? 

I need answers, nothing affects me more than him.

I still want, need and love him. I really need to see him.

I need to remind him that I Bai Fengjiu is his one true love and I love him the best.

Yes! I am to go to him!

With that Fengjiu turned herself into her nine tail fox form, ran over the wall, into Taichen Palace, into Dijun's chambers and climbed onto his bed before changing back...