after our dinner Jake took me home and kissed me good night, he insisted on coming in but i refused, i knew what that meant, but i wasn't ready for that. i knew i would have to tell him im a virgin sometime. but i was afraid. what would he think he of me? would he not want me? i really didn't want to tell him but i knew i had to.
i was getting ready for this morning, i was a little excited and nervous. i didn't want anyone to know about me and Jacob yet. i didn't want rumours about me going around when i only started working there i was doing the boss.
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^ alexs work outfit
i left for work and stopped by Starbucks and got Jake a coffee as well, saves me from having to make it when i get there.
I got to work on time and went to my office, then knocked on jakes door.
"come in!" he coldly shouted. i entered his office."i have your coffee, mr black." i told him. when i started speaking he looked up and started smiling
"you look incredibly sexy today baby, well you always do" he grinned. i could feel my cheeks starting to burn up. "come over here" he said, i walked over to his desk and when i was close enough he pulled me onto his lap, then started kissing me down my neck. "i missed you" he said against my neck. i let out out a chuckle "i missed you too" he continued to kiss me and his hand was going up my leg.
"wait, stop, i dont want to do this in the office, its unprofessional" i told him. i didn't want to be like a toy he could use whenever he wanted. what if someone walked in as well.
"fine" he grumbled "ive got work to do anyway, and so do you" he told me coldly while motioning me to get off his lap, so i did and he picked up his pen and started writing. is he seriously pissed off with me because i wont fuck him in his office?!
"are you really pissed off because i wont have sex in your office with you?" i asked him. he didnt look at me, just kept writing "no im busy" he said being cold towards me. it made me feel used. was he just being nice because he wanted to sleep with me? i walked out of his office feeling like shit and started working.
it was finally the end of the week and i had barely talked to Jake. i hated it, he only talked to me about work and he hasn't even called or texted me?! what the fuck is wrong with him. i feel so used and stupid. i should of known better, why would a guy like Jacob black be interested in someone like me?
i called up Chloe when i got out of work, I've barely talked to her since i started working and she got a boyfriend, i miss her so much. it was Friday night so i wanted to go out. her boyfriend was able to get us vip in a fancy club. i say fancy but it isn't really, im just used to going into places that sell beer and vodka, this place is more higher class.
tonight im wearing a nude dress with a black leather jacket and black heels. i dont know if i should wear the dress, it gives off the wrong impression i think. im not overly confident about my body, who wouldn't be growing up with a mother who always calling you fat and ugly. i weigh 120 pounds but she always said i was fat, i didn't think so at the start but as time went on i started to think i was fat and ugly, when i met Chloe she always said she jealous of me because of how i looked but i never really believed her.
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^alexs dress for the club
Chloe picked me up at 7 and we headed to the club, her boyfriend works there so he came along, i knew i was going to be left alone while they were together at the club because they are obsessed with each other. i really want a relation ship like that with someone, i just wish that someone was Jake. i haven't stopped thinking about him, wishing he would stop acting like such a damn child. i was going to talk to him but then i though why should i? hes been so rude to me all week. im basically his girlfriend because he asked me to be when we went to dinner, isnt this meant to be the 'honeymoon stage' of relationships? kissing, dates, falling in love with each other not ignoring each other. he doesnt care about my feelings which seriously annoys me.
we arrived at the club and went inside to the vip section, chloes boyfriend dave took us to meet his friends when i saw him.
Jake was there talking to some drop dead gorgeous girl and my heart sank, but it shouldn't. i knew he didn't give a shit about me but it still made me feel like i wanted to cry. i tried my best to ignore it but i still felt horrible, i had feelings for him. how stupid am i? thinking he cared about me. all the flirting was just an act, all he wanted was sex.
I'm hurt but i wont let it show. i'm going to show him i don't care.
