Big Girls Don't Cry ✔️

Why not?

Kelsey

I couldn't believe Martin had kissed me and I kissed him back. It's Martin Hayes who prefers to make people's lives miserable than anything. Then again, since we have been hanging out, I saw a different side to him.

Let's not forget about me being transgender, and he doesn't know. I had managed to keep my secret for so long, with no one knowing except my family. I also had plans, and it never involved this happening.

Now, what was I going to do? I didn't need any more complications in my life.

"Kelsey!"

I stopped and turned as I saw Martin making his way to me. Oh god, I need to find someplace to hide. So, I ran as he ran after me. The only thing is, he was faster.

He caught me, I fought, and he dragged me into a janitor's closet. That wasn't creepy whatsoever. He let go of me and flicked on a light. I stood there looking at him with furrow brows as he looked at me with hurt.

"Kelsey."

"Let me out of here, Martin," I spoke through clenched teeth.

"No, because if I do, I may lose my chance," he reasoned.

"Chance for what?" I looked at him a bit confused.

"To be with you," he declared taking me by surprise.

"What?" It was all I could manage.

He took steps towards me, "I like you a lot, and I want to be with you. I know it doesn't make sense, but when I'm with you, I don't feel so alone. I don't feel like I'm just existing. You make me feel like I mean something."

I stood there and listened to what he was saying.

"Kelsey, I don't know when it happened or how but the more time we spent together, I felt these feelings grow for you," he admitted.

"Martin, we can't be together," I replied to him as he looked at me utterly confused.

"Why not?"

"Because there are things you don't know about me. Things you wouldn't understand," I answered.

"I know you're kind and funny that you care about people and not what they have. I know you had a hard life before coming to stay with the people that you live with now. I know you want to be happy," he said to me.

I looked at him as he stood in front of me. He reached up and moved a strand of hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

"I don't have anyone that loves and cares about me. I go home to a house alone, thinking I will never have anyone. Then I met you, and you showed me that good people do exist. I don't want to be alone anymore," he managed to say before his voice broke before he started to cry.

He dropped his hand down and cried.

He turned his back to me as he cried, "I'm tired of being alone and angry. I'm tired of not having anyone care about me. All I want is someone to care about me like my parents."

I watched as Martin completely broke down as the child inside of him missing his parents. The same child who had been taken advantage of because of money, when all he wanted was to be loved.

He wiped his eyes, "It doesn't matter. I can't expect you to do that. I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone."

I watched as he walked towards the door and reached for the handle before I made a choice that would ultimately change both our lives.

"Wait," I announced as he stopped. He turned to me as I did the one thing I never expected to do. I walked towards him and placed my hands on his face as I pressed my lips to his. That surprised him as he put his hands on my lower back and kissed me back.

Our lips moved in sync with each other as we kissed. Martin might be a lot of things, but the one thing I knew is he needed me as much as I needed him.

We broke from our kiss as I looked at him, "why did you kiss me after class?"

He looked at me a bit surprised, "out of all that; you want to know why I kissed you?"

"Yep," I answered.

"Because I wanted to," he replied as I looked at him.

"Is that why you wanted to hang out besides doing our assignment?" I looked at him as he a smile grew upon his lips.

I chuckled as I shook my head, "Martin, you're something else."

"Maybe so, but I like you, Kelsey, and if I want to kiss you, I should have the option to do so," he reasoned.

I rolled my eyes - typical guy behavior. I pulled back and pushed him out of the way as I opened the door. I walked out of the janitor's closet and started walking down the hallway.

"Wait," he yelled as he caught up with me. I stopped and looked at him. "You forgot something."

"Oh yeah, and what would that be?" I asked a bit confused.

"You forgot this," he answered as he slid his hand into mine, interlocking our fingers. "Much better." He smiled at me as I couldn't help but smile back as we walked down the hallway, hand in hand.

I knew at some point; I would have to tell him the truth and hopes he understand. Right now, I was okay just taking it real slow and getting to know him. Telling someone you're transgender is a huge deal. Not everyone reacts the same. My birth parents didn't. They prefer me to go along and be miserable. My actual parents just wanted me to be happy.

If I ever have kids, I know for a fact; I want them to be happy with whoever they are. How is it I understand this concept but those two miserable people couldn't? Guess we all learn in our way.