Because Of You - It's funny how someone can change how you view yourself.
~
I remember, feeling the uglish.
Guys would look at me and scoff, laughing and mocking me through the hallways.
I remember when I was fat, I was haunted and scared to enter t...
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"Your body's disgusting, lose more weight then society will love you and except you."
T A Y S A
I stare at the food Gray place in front of me, watching me with his arms fold as I terrifyingly stare at it.
"Taysa eat up, its spaghetti." He said, yet he wasn't the only voice I was hearing.
"Eat That And everyone's going to stare at you with disgust."
"Your going to go back to fatty Taysa, remember her?"
"Ugly Taysa."
I drop the fork I was holding unto the floor.
"Gray — I think I see something moving in the bushes. Is your brothers still here —"
"They're gone." He quickly reply, "Hours ago."
I push the plate in front of him, "I'm really not hungry — you can eat it." I smile at him but his gaze harden on me making me bring back the plate towards me.
"Taysa, eat the food."
I swallow the lump in my throat as my gaze went back down to the gross looking substance.
"Please Taysa, Just — just eat some." He beg me, "Even a little." He whisper softly, my gaze locking into his puppy dog eyes.
I bite my bottom lip, "Fine." I grumble.
He handed me a new fork and I took it, shoving it into the spaghetti and shoving it in my mouth.
I hold back the urge to puke, shutting my eyes quickly then opening them back in after swallowing the food.
Gray smile at me, "There."
I nod, glancing at the bathroom before turning back to him.
"I need to use the restroom. I need to pee.." I lie and he nod.
I quickly rush into the bathroom, vomiting out everything that I consume just now.
The voices getting louder in my head as I just kept vomiting until everything was out.
Until the voices calm down.
Until they were satisfied.
Even a little.
~
It was time for me to go back to school and also for me to do my best at trying to fix my grades.
My mother drop me in front of the school and drive along after a step out of her vehicle not letting a single of encouragement flow off her tongue.
I swallow the lump in my throat, gripping onto my bag as I stare at the school I so dearly hated.
The school that judged me.
The school that talks about me wrongfully.
I take a step forward, knowing if I don't start moving now, I'll just stand here for the rest of the time.
I walk through the glass doors and enter the school.
All eyes were on me as everyone stare at me in shock.
"They're love your body." The voices in my head said.
"Is she okay?" I heard someone whisper, "She looks like she's dying."
Someone stop me, "I have a hamburger for lunch, if you want I can share it with you." Everyone around me starting to laugh.
I swallow hard, walking more quickly down the hallways but they voices were just too loud and I could hear everything they were whispering.
"Wasn't she gone for like, three months? How did she get that skinny?"
"Don't even call her skinny, she looks like pure bones."
"See? Her jeans can't even stay on her."
"Everyone move out the way! If you hit into her too hard, she might die!"
