Because Of You - It's funny how someone can change how you view yourself.
~
I remember, feeling the uglish.
Guys would look at me and scoff, laughing and mocking me through the hallways.
I remember when I was fat, I was haunted and scared to enter t...
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"Do whatever makes you happy."
T A Y S A
"Good evening, mom." I faintly smile at her as I made my way up the stairs.
She just ignore me, not wanting anything to do with me after the 'incident' broadcast all over the news and every social media.
Better yet, I wasn't even known as her kid anymore.
She just thought of me as a roommate, a stranger that just live in the same house as her.
I sigh, pushing open my bedroom and entering the blue bedroom that hadn't change since my birth.
My parents wanted a boy more then anything, so they painted the bedroom blue and after finding out finding out I was a girl, they didn't bother to change it.
Disappointment filled them and they got unmotivated but I didn't bother or care about the color because I liked the baby blue paint that covered the walls even though it was starting to get stained and dirty.
I open the white door that leaded into my bathroom.
I stripped, taking off all of my clothes and hoping into the shower, letting the hot water burn my skin ever so slightly.
~
I stare at myself in my bedroom mirror.
Disgust filling me as I find fault and disgust in my own skin.
I was on the verge of tears just by one glance at my body.
I hated myself.
I hated how I was shaped.
My legs were just so big — gigantic was the word. I just wished I looked like the other girls at school.
The ones with thigh gaps and pretty smiles.
My boobs was extremely small while my buttock extremely big which also made me get a nickname, 'Bitty Titty Biggy Booty' from the girl's in my gym class.
Although it didn't make sense, they still laugh at me in the changing room every time someone says it or every time I just passed someone that knew the nickname.
I glance down at my chubbily, gigantic belly which hanged over further then it should.
I didn't even know what to say about it.
It was just there.
Something I wasn't pleased with.
I wished my belly was as flat as other girls ones were. I wish I was just attractive like other girls.
But I wasn't.
I was just someone.
No one sexy.
No one that mattered.
But someone that can be forgotten in the next 0.1 second.
I sigh, glancing at my facial appearance in the mirror.
I had a double chin, one that was extremely noticeable, especially to me.
Bright blue eyes that was red from crying and a round face.
I wasn't 'special' or 'good looking'.
But I sure was still surviving in this world standards of beauty.
A U T H O R N O T E
V O T E
C O M M E N T
S H A R E
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