"Ally, you should know I wouldn't do that. I would do anything to make us feel good and find an appropriate solution," he put his arm around me and stroked my upper arm.
"I'm really happy about that", my head buried itself more in his chest.
"What do you actually want?
Now it was the first time I thought about exactly what I wanted. I was so busy imagining the worst situations that I couldn't get myself to think about what I really wanted. I didn't know if I really wanted to try to spend this life with Shawn and if I was ready for my own child. After all, I had dreams and goals.
I swore I wouldn't abort my baby. There were plenty of other possibilities than killing an emerging life. After all, it was a child that others wanted. A child who was destined for life. But now in a situation that really took place and not only in my head, this thinking was completely different.
I knew that I did not want to do it. I didn't want to give up an innocent creature that came out of my own stupidity and carelessness, even if I didn't "want" it directly. But I also didn't know if I could do it together with Shawn without a huge shitstorm in the media again.
"I want to birth it, it is meant to live, and I have to live with the consequences of our inattentiveness," I replied.
"What do you feel for me Ally?" Shawn's voice still sounded serious.
"I don't know that either. You said such mistakes don't just happen and yes I had feelings for you during the tour but I knew we couldn't have anything serious. During each of our little hook ups I wondered why we couldn't just admit that we felt everything we could for each other. On the one hand I want us to work and on the other I don't know if it will," my voice broke and tears gathered in my eyes.
"We just have to try to fall in love again like we did during the tour, so that it works and we can deal with the child," he said while his hand buried itself in my hair and played with it.
"How are you gonna make us fall in love 100 percent again?"
"We just do everything we've done. Our Pizza Dates and the Disney Marathons and all those other things," the memories of it gave me goose bumps over my body.
"And do you really think that would work?"
"It has to"
YOU ARE READING
Tour Photographer - Shawn Mendes Fanfiction
Teen Fiction[some chapters are really short so don't worry about the length of the book] A dream of Alyssa came true, but it wasn't as easy as you might think. The collaboration with the famous singer Shawn Mendes was no problem for the hobby photographer, but...
