Tour Photographer - Shawn Mendes Fanfiction

- » i hate you

The end of the tour came closer. It was already the end of November, which meant that it only took another month. Shawn and Christy have known each other for several weeks, hung out during the tour break and excluded me.

After Shawn and I talked in the hotel room, things changed. It was stupid to think he would wait for me. Wait till I've sorted my mind and emptied my head. Of course, he could have someone else right away.

*flashback*

Immediately our eyes met again and my crying stopped. Shawn's hand moved from my cheek to my left thigh. He did not place his hand on my thigh as if he wanted to become intimate, more than a sign that he was worried. After a while of silence I raised an eyebrow so he might finally start talking.

"I don't know how to say this, but you are such a beautiful person with a heart of pure gold. You have quirks, for example that you can be incredibly stubborn, but remember: Even a diamond has corners and edges. What I'm saying is that you're my very personal diamond that couldn't be more beautiful," he stopped for a moment before he continued. "Alyssa Miller, I like you in a very special way and that's what counts. My fans don't know how great you can be in private life, but I know it and I can say with complete conviction that you're not easy to forget."

My heart began to beat faster, my head stopped working and I was probably acting stupid. My hands embraced his angular face, my eyes were fixed on his and I bent forward. It was probably the stupidest thing I could have done. 

Carefully brushing our lips against one another before I put mine gently on his. It was just a small moment when time seemed to stand still. It didn't take long before I was thrown back into reality. I separated our lips again just after he kissed back.

"No, I can't do that. Andrew forbid me to get together with you. I'm not ready to get back into a relationship, not after all that," I stuttered and distanced Shawn from me.

"What are you talking about? For what? And what does Andrew have to do with it now," he looked at me confused.

"It doesn't matter, I can't talk about it. Andrew forbade it, it was even in the contract that I was not allowed to make sexual relations with the crew. Shawn, I'm so sorry, I can't do all this. I'm not ready, not if the last relationship was a horror for me and it was forbidden for me," I said in a muffled voice.

"I don't understand," the only thing Shawn could say.

"I like you a lot, wait for me. Wait for the tour to end and I've finished with the past," I whispered.

"I will"

*end of flashback*

It was already in the evening when I was already lying in bed in my room typing on my mobile phone. Sometime after a while my cell phone vibrated in my hand and a message from Shawn was displayed. "Open the door. N O W!"

I got up sighing, walked up to the door of the room and opened it. Shawn stomped right past me, and I looked after him while I closed the door again. He looked at me angrily and was already standing in the middle of my room.

"What the fuck are you doing?" said Shawn and held out his cell phone to me.

"What do you mean?" I walked up to him and pinched my eyes together hoping I would see what he wanted to show me.

"The chat history between you and Christy. Damn it, Ally, why are you so jealous? You have rejected me!" he almost shouted at me.

"Yes, and you told me you would wait for me! You fucking told me to take the time I needed!" I also got louder.

"Well, I guess I met Christy at a shoot. Is it so hard for you to understand that I can be happy without you?! I think if we had come together I would never have been as happy as with her," he shouted, and my heart split.

"Then fuck your Christy until she screams, keep smoking her cigarettes and live your life with that fame addict whore! She's just using you," I cried and tears began to roll down my cheeks.

"I love Christy and I can't see you talking about her like that! The only one who took advantage of my crew's fame was you! You were the one who belonged to it from one day to the next and now you are asked for jobs to earn more money than ever before! YOU were the one who took advantage of us," he yelled.

"Goddamn Shawn I hate you for your blindness and now get the fuck out of my room," I yelled at him while my voice got brittle and I wiped away the tears.