The stupid life of the awkward people

The Saturday

Today is the day for ice skating. Unfortunately for Kurtis and Martha, today is also a day for unnecessary visits from irrelevant relatives.
For Martha, it was her disrespectful and bothersome aunt who criticised everything about her and her siblings. She called her favourite band "a group of boys that make suicide music". She's a real pain but Martha has to endure it.
For Kurtis, it was his annoying uncles. First thing they do when they come over is take the TV. Then they start blasting Afro beats and shout amongst each other. What makes it worse is his mother is a real tomboy and joins in. The walls in his room are too thin for this. At least there's a 45% chance of one getting a bit tipsy and giving him and Kris £20 so that's a benefit.
Alice, Jae and Claudia has the whole day to themselves. Alice simply slept while Jae texted her American friends. Claudia, the most responsible person, decided to revise.
Meanwhile, Martha's situation was getting quite bothersome.
"Martha, we're going to Croydon. Wanna come?"
"No thanks"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Plus I'm going out later and I don't want to wear myself out"
"Okey dokey, love you"
"Love you too, mum"
Her mother walked back downstairs and Martha had peace for about 30 seconds or so. Then there was a harsh knock on her door.
"Martha Lee Trundley, Come ooouuut!"
Martha was so taken aback by her aunt's sudden knock that she dropped her phone. Luckily, she has a carpeted floor. She picked up her phone and nervously opened her door.
"Why aren't you coming with us?"
"B-because I'm... tired?"
"Oh that's no excuse! Come with us"
"I'm going somewhere later in the day and I can't be tired then-"
"Oh you won't be tired"
This went on for ten minutes, with Martha's mother having to defend her five minutes into this annoyance. What a great mother coming to her daughters aid. Her mother finally managed to drive her aunt away, meaning Martha finally had peace. Well, for about an hour and a half. Guess what that means...
REWATCHING SCENES CALL ME BY YOUR NAME FOR THE FIFTH TIME THIS MONTH
Meanwhile at Kurtis's, his uncles were becoming a serious pain. They started playing mans not hot out of nowhere. Everything is hell now. And why is Kris dancing for them?*

*a nine year old girl dancing for a group of large black men is not as bad as it sounds as she is literally dancing for them. I'll continue now

Kurtis groaned in annoyance. He couldn't even hear his TV properly. He was watching The breakfast club, one of his favourite old movies. Then the most annoying thing happened. The door simply swung open and a large man wearing an African print jumper and khakis stared in the room, exclaiming with a voice louder than the three loudest black girls on a Monday morning.
"Oh so this is your room!"
"Eh-"
"It's not that small! Your mother said you was complaining about it!"
"Well it kinda is small-"
"No it's not! In Ghana we have rooms THIS small!" Gesturing a sort of size with his hands. Kurtis was basically too bothered by his presence alone to speak in a full volume voice, being reduced to a weak mumble.
"We're not in Ghana, though." Kurtis responded softly, desperately waiting for his annoyance to leave.
It took almost seven minutes, but he left, allowing Kurtis to have his ten minutes of self consciousness and deep clean his room. He then shut the door and locked it. Now nobody was allowed, no matter who.
It's finally time for Kurtis to leave. Since he lives further away he had to leave the earliest. He was already dressed up, sporting his black ripped jeans, grey gap hoodie and blue aviator jacket. He was just about to wear his black and blue Jordan's when a loud bang hit his door, causing him to jump. He was very reluctant to open his door in fear of his uncles getting all up in his business. Frankly, it's not wise to tell your relatives about an event you're invited to which consists of at least 65% of the opposite gender. You're in for a treat.
He checked his keyhole and it turned out to be his sister. He sighed and opened the door slightly.
"What-"
"Kurtis watch this!" She then attempts to bend over backwards for 30 seconds.
Kurtis dragged her to her room and tossed her onto the bed before creeping downstairs. He signalled to his mother that he was leaving.
"Oh you're leaving? Can't I take you?"
"I'm fine."
"But it's streatham."
"Literally an hour on the tram and train."
"Ok. Have fun. Be good."
"Yup." He opened the door and closed it behind him, finally heading of for his friendly gathering.
Meanwhile, Martha had started binge watching Sam & Kat while Lana Del Ray played in the background. Her huge dog lay next to her, eyeing the chocolate buttons silently. One day.
Soon, soon he would taste the forbidden fruits
Martha got a text from the group chat she, along with Kurtis and an unsuspecting Alice formed.

___________________________
                         (🗿)☠️)🐈)
                 People Not Persons
                    Two active now
————————————————————Elephant_chicken...
I just left
Who am I meeting?

Omg how are you leaving now?
*why
I've not even started to get ready 😂

Elephant_chicken...
Stop rubbing in the fact that
you live within two kilometres
of all our friends
At least I get to take the train

😂
What is it with you and trains?

Elephant_chicken...
What is it with you and the
peach scene?
Best kept secret

Xx_Ericatt_xX
Kurtis has a train fetish conform
*confirmed
This keyboard hates me

Elephant_chicken...
You have a Loki fetish hush

Xx_Ericatt_xX
Excuse me
Tom Hiddleston is simply a
person who you clearly can't
comprehend
Plus you're gay
You should get this

Elephant_chicken...
I'm straighter than you

Xx_Ericatt_xX
Quick question
Wine or beer

Wine 🍷

Elephant_chicken...
Beer tastes like old man sweat
Wine for me

Xx_Ericatt_xX
Gay

Elephant_chicken...
How is liking wine gay tho

Xx_Ericatt_xX
Because real men drink beer
regardless of taste
Fave it
*face
The only thing you're straight for
is the Doctor

I thought he was a guy
Oh wait I just remembered 😅

Elephant_chicken...
Alright fine
I'm gay

Xx_Ericatt_xX
🤯

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Elephant_chicken...
Great
At
Yahtzee
I'll see y'all ladies around

Xx_Ericatt_xX changed the group name to Kurtis is Gay
___________________________

"...oh crap it's two!!!" She fell off her bed.