Okay? Okay... (part 1)

Sur-frieking-prise!

*hiya. so I haven't been updating. i know. I suck. but Im still adjusting to school and im sick, ok? but any ways, enjoy*

"Just stay there. Thats not hard is it?" I said. "Hey! Im not stupid!" "Mhm. Stupid is stupid does." I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom. I put on faded skinny jeans, a come at me bro shirt. And..Dun da dun! I put on eyeliner! Then I put on Converse boots that were black and a loose black hoodie. I parted my hair to one side and grabbed my black cheap shades.

I walked out and Trevor looked confused. "Dayum! Why you all dressed up?" He said. "No reason. Lets go." I gave him his penny board and grabbed mine. We skated over and got off. "Now keep your eyes closed ok?" He nodded and closed his eyes. I opened the door and it looked so awesome!

I gasped and almost had Trevor open his eyes. "What? What is it?" "NOTHING!" I grabbed his hand and ran to a bathroom. "Can I look yet?" He asked when I closed the door. "Yeah sure." He smiled and opened his eyes. His smile disappeared. "You had me worked up for a bathroom?!" "No. Wait here Trev. Like seriously. Dont open this door."

I walked out and went to get him clothes. I got him some skinny jeans, his XIAT shirt, and some red Vans. I ran back and threw him the clothes. "Put this on. Knock when you're done."

He came out and looked pretty cool. Im so good. I covered his eyes and went to the living room. "Ready?" I asked. He nodded and I let go. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" "Day.." Everyone screamed. Miranda was a little off but, expected.

Trevor covered his mouth and almost started crying. I hugged him and he burst out with a "Thank you! Thank you all so much!" Then everyone started mingling.

Practically everyone was here. Magcon, O2L, Miranda, Jenn, Andrea, Andrew, Tyler and Sawyer, Joey and Shane, Rebecca, shit the only YouTuber missing was Pewds! Darn.

But even huge people were here. 5SOS, Demi, Me, jk. But this party was gonna be boss. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if JB decided to show up! Birthday by Selena came on and everyone started dancing.

After that 5SOS decided to sing She Looks So Perfect. I got on 'stage' dancing and took pictures with the guys. Luke even let me sing a line. I jumped down and someone tapped my shoulder.

I whipped around and no one will guess who it was. Friekn Justin Beiber. "Lindsey, right?" He said smiling. I punched him and he fell on the floor. The music stopped."Damn!" Andrea said. "You know how long I've wanted to do that?" I said. Everyone screamed happily and I just laughed.

Everyone went back to singing and dancing. I walked to Connor and asked "Is it done? Did you set up the notes?" He nodded. "And did you see that? Where's Trevor? I gotta tell him." He high fived me and said "I think I saw him go over there."

I walked in the direction he pointed thinking about how Trevor was gonna take this. No not JB. I meant I was thinking about the notes. For his present I set something up, and it was gonna end up saying that I liked him.

"Trevor! Did you see me? How bout your present? Trevor?" I turned a corner. I saw him. He was kissing some chick. I went wide eyed. I ran. I didn't know where. But I ended up in a bathroom. I put the lid down and sat on the toilet after locking the door.

Now, I wasn't going to cry. Because I wasnt sad. I was upset and angry. And at a time like this, the one way to let out anger, was to cut. I found a first aid kit. I pulled out the surgical knife and started right under my palm. I made a short line, moving down, making another. I stared at my face in the mirror, not regretting this.

I finished both arms and sat on the floor. I held the blade to my throat, with my trembling hand. I wanst gonna feel a thing. My arms didnt hurt. I touched my neck and dropped the knife. I just couldn't.

I rinsed my arms and put my hood up. I opened the door and there stood Trevor. He had tears down his face. I pushed past, grabbed nova, and ran to my house crying feeling like shit.

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Ok guys, look, if you do self harm, then talk to me. Tell a friend. Or put and end to doing it. Remember that those who mind dont matter, and those who matter dont mind. Cheesy, yeah. Love ya beautiful, bye