Luke.
It felt like my insides were all jumbled up, clenching together so tight, that I couldn't breathe.
Normally I had been left alone in the past, but now that I had nothing but worry in my mind, K knew I was going to break soon. I told myself that I was going to be fine, I wasn't. I knew that I couldn't do this. But I needed something to distract my mind, and staying home alone in an all too quiet house wasn't going to help.
I wanted October.
I wanted to feel alive and happy and full of love and hope, but I don't think I could bring myself to feel that way without October with me.
I check the time, 8:23 p.m.The flight time between New York and Vancouver was what - five hours? She probably already landed about five hours ago. I wish she was here. Or I was there.
What I don't get is - why didn't she just invite me? I would've been fine flying across the country to see her parents (though I'd have to surpress my quite strong loathe towards them). In fact, I'd go anywhere if it meant that I'd get to hold her hand and wake up to her everyday and feed her mint chocolate ice cream, since she told me that she didn't like it. The way she would crinkled her nose and then giggle after, it was the only why there was always this tranquil, content feeling inside of me that only October could cause.
I shouldn't have tried to push her away. I shouldn't have tried to stop loving her. Because that can't happen. And now she was gone, probably having a snowball fight with a grizzly bear in her igloo while drinking maple syrup, or whatever Canadians do. It sounded fun. I wanted to fight grizzly bears with October in her igloo, not get drunk on some shit they'll serve at the party. Hell, I was already drunk with her; the hours I've spent trying to get her out of my mind, she comes right back.
The door flew open, revealing Ashton and Calum both dressed in an all-black attire, wearing band shirts. "Dude," Ashton chuckled skeptically. "What in the hell are you doing?"
I get where their confusion is coming from - seeing that I was laying on the ground. I didn't really feel any energy flow through me, anymore.
"I was reminiscing just the other day," I closed my eyes and swung my head back slightly back and forth. "While having coffee all alone and Lord, it took me away."
"I feel like he stay home alone, anymore," Calum crossed his arms, "I think he needs help."
"Drunk in love." I belted out once more, raising my hands up in front of me and swaying them.
"I caught him drinking my whiskey when I came home last week - wait, did you just say love?" I heard Calum mumble, and I sat up straight.
"Hey! You promised you wouldn't tell!" I stood from my position, now facing the two.
"He said it! He said love," Calum cooed, patting Ashton's shoulder repeatedly. "You said love."
"I was singing Beyoncé."
"Everyone knows that when you sing Beyoncé, you're in love. I think it's because everyone loves Beyoncé."
"Okay, wait." Ashton cut in, bringing ha hand to his mouth. "First things first-"
"I'm the realest," Calum and I sang in unison, cheering at our bro-telepathy.
"Enough with the pop music culture! Anyways-" Ashton and Calum both stepped into the room, shutting the door. Oh no. This was going to be bad.
"Luke," Ashton sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I know that I shouldn't be playing father here, but you shouldn't be drinking, especially when there's no one watching." I cowered, feeling like an immature child who was being scolded.
