don't ever want to miss you | fillie

nothing hurts when I'm alone

Chapter 13

Okay, Finn was kind of surprised that Millie agreed to talk. He really wanted to make up with her somehow, but... She found out about him turning down the role only yesterday. It was obvious that she was still hurt and mad at him. What if it was too soon? Maybe they both needed time?

What's worse, he knew that making up with her won't be easy. Things between them had been quite bad even before she found out about his decision. His lies or their fight in the morning surely didn't make anything better.

It was too soon, of course it was too soon.

Guess he hasn't thought this through.

'Okay, so...' Finn started hesitantly, but Millie didn't let him finish the sentence.

It looked like she knew exactly what they should talk about.

'Will you call the producers tomorrow?' she asked calmly, sitting by the table in front of him.

The truth was, she wanted and didn't want him to go at the same time. Because... How would their life look like if he'd left?

Maybe it wouldn't be such big of a difference, she thought bitterly. He's always away, anyway. They don't spend time with each other. All she does is miss her boyfriend. She's used to it at this point.

But... Now he would be away for months.

It meant that even those quick breakfasts and goodnight conversations would be taken away from them. And it was terrifying to think about staying here all alone with nothing but her dead career as a companion when he would be on the other side of the world, working in a beautiful place with amazing, talented people...

She shook this thought off of her mind. Yes, she would miss him like crazy if he'd left, there was nothing she was more sure of.

But maybe it didn't matter. He is more important than her loneliness.

The only way to solve this whole situation was to convince him to go to Italy. She will stop blaming herself. He will make his dream come true.

Maybe it won't solve all of their problems, but it could be a start. Right?

His eyebrows furrowed slightly at her question. God, she was like a broken record. How many times were they going to have this conversation?, he thought. For him it worked exactly the opposite. The more she tried to convince him, the more he didn't plan to give in.

He couldn't understand it. Was it a bad thing that he wanted to stay? He was doing it for her, only for her. It upset him that she didn't want it, that she didn't appreciate it.

Okay, he lied to her about big and important thing, she had all the right in the world to feel hurt, but... Maybe deep inside he thought that she would be happier that he decided to stay with her? That she would be more... grateful?

He didn't know what to expect, but it was pissing him off that she didn't like the idea of him staying, that she was still trying to convince him, that she couldn't just let it go. He knew that she was stubborn as hell, though. He can prove her that he is more stubborn than she is.

Two could play at that game.

'No.' Finn said firmly.

Millie only let out a small, humorless laugh, shaking her head. She has known him for ten years and... He has always been stubborn, persistent and unyielding, no matter if he bickered over little things with his friends or argued with his bandmates over the way their music album should sound like. So... His reaction wasn't surprising.