don't ever want to miss you | fillie

you promised forever and a day

Chapter 15

Finn sighed defeatedly, leaning his forehead against the closed door of Millie's bedroom. His eyes fluttered shut.

God, how weird it sounded. Her bedroom. Not theirs. It has only been a couple of days and he already thought of it as something permanent.

Yes, they didn't talk to each other at all, but... He really didn't want to fight with her. He knew perfectly well that she needed space.

They both did.

Maybe this was for the better. Maybe it was going to be okay. Maybe they will finally make up. They had time to calm down, to think this whole situation through... He didn't know how or when, but... They just had to be okay. They had to.

Although it hurt like hell that she kept pushing him away. It would be easier if she just told him what's been bothering her, if she told him about her problems. It could become their problem, they could handle it together. Whatever it was.

Today was the day when he couldn't stand it anymore, that longing, that silence, that indifference, that... He had no idea how to put it into words. It felt like... Like he was a stranger in his own house. That's why he decided to stay this late in the studio.

The album was almost finished, actually. It wasn't necessary to stay there that long, especially without his bandmates. He just didn't want to come back to the empty bed, to the cold bedroom, to this unnerving silence of their apartment.

And he knew he fucked up today. He has always had a tendency to say things impulsively, before actually thinking them through. It was completely unlike him to talk to her like that, though. Just... It was too much and... All these mean words just slipped out of his mouth.

His fingers knocked silently on the wooden surface before he had opened the door. Walking inside, he noticed that her favorite spot on the windowsill wasn't occupied this time. She was laying on the bed, curled up into a ball with no blankets covering her. He didn't have to see her face to know that she was crying, her body shaking with light sobs.

Their eyes met for a brief moment, but then her gaze landed back on the wall in front of her. Like nothing happened, like he wasn't even there.

'Mills, hey...' he started cautiously, sitting on the edge of the bed.

It was killing him to see her like this, completely devastated and miserable. New tears welled in the corners of her eyes. She was still staring at the one spot on the wall like suddenly there was something interesting there, doing everything in her will not to look at him, biting her already chapped lips.

'Why didn't you pick up my calls?' she asked quietly.

He looked down at his lap, pressing his lips together. Why?, he thought. Because he was stupid and stubborn. Because he didn't care that she would be worried about him. Because he wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt him, ignoring her even more.

'I... I don't know.' he sighed, shaking his head.

Suddenly, the ding of the phone broke the silence, but she didn't react at all, as if she didn't hear it.

'Umm... Aren't you going to check it?'

Not that Finn wanted her to actually check it, he couldn't care less about some meaningless notifications. He just wanted to say something, to stop this weird tension, but all he got in response was a light shrug of her arms.

His eyes absentmindedly glanced at the nightstand. His eyebrows furrowed when he noticed that the screen of the phone was cracked.

Did she throw her phone after their conversation or what? Did he really make her that mad?