don't ever want to miss you | fillie

you're only the love of my life

Chapter 20

It was a bad idea.

Finn knew that, of course he did.

He knew that agreeing to it. He knew that getting dressed. He knew that walking into the restaurant. He knew that seeing her face, full of fear and uncertainty.

It was painfully obvious that things could only get worse from here.

As the days passed by, it looked like more people become interested in their personal lives, the rumours about the breakup not dying down... If anything, they only grew stronger. That's why their managements had to come up with a plan and quickly find a way how to address the gossips before the whole situation could get even more messed up. Chris and Kathy established that Finn and Millie were supposed to hang out together in public, a meeting with a supervision of the paparazzi being the best way to show that "there was no animosity or holding grudges on both sides".

They made reservations in a sushi restaurant near to their apartment, the exact same one Finn and Millie were supposed to go on a date before her audition in Los Angeles.

A date that never happened.

The only thought crossing Finn's mind was the irony of it. He was so excited to take her on a date here and check this place, to spend some time with her... He remembered himself saying that they will have thousands chances to go there in the future.

He would've never expected they'll ever go there but not as a couple.

Yeah, the first time they went there together couldn't be more opposite to the initial plan. And now, after everything that has happened... They were supposed to meet? Just like that?

Why didn't anyone see how terrible of an idea it was?

That's how he ended up here with Millie sitting across him, the table full of barely touched food that he was too upset to eat and with the fucking paparazzi on the other side of the street, their cameras pointed at them, that annoying feeling of being watched tickling the back of his neck and driving him crazy. They were sitting by the glass wall so their table was perfectly visible from the street, "the more people seeing them the better". Except for exchanging simple "hello" and ordering the food, they haven't spoken a single word to each other. And all of it... It felt weird. Awkward. Uncomfortable. Ridiculous. Completely out of place.

It's never been like this, not with her.

Finn felt nervous, balling his hands into fists inside his pockets, his palms turning clammy, his leg bouncing under the table. He had to stop himself of running his hand over his curls in frustation, another obvious habit that would totally give him away. Fuck, he'd hoped he was better at hiding his irritation, nervousness and bad mood. How could he not be in a bad mood, though?

Everyone who knew Finn was aware of the fact that he absolutely hated paparazzi. Everyone who knew Finn was also aware that he absolutely hated being forced into things.

It wasn't surprising that his first reaction to Kathy and Chris' idea was a big no. Seriously, being stuck with his ex-girlfriend in the restaurant they were supposed to go a few weeks ago wasn't something he wanted. He regretted the moment he agreed to this, he regretted it with every fiber of his being. He didn't want to see her.

Although it was a lie, a total and complete, big, utter lie.

Because he wanted to see her so badly, wanted to know how she's been, how she was handling their breakup. He wanted to know if she was hurting as much as he was.