"so this is it, my London apartment" Jake says flapping his arms.
"Its amazing!" I say feeling awkward. I sit down and look around... then Jake tells me to come into the bedroom he has something to show me... I worryingly follow him. "This, right here is my first ever guitar" says Jake. Few! I thought he was going to do something weird or dirty. I sit on the bed and he sits next to me holding his first guitar, just like me he takes his first guitar with him everywhere. But he doesn't play live on his. I do.
we talk and laugh a lot. "You know what? Its absolutely freezing in here!" I exclaim. Jake looks at me blankly and shuffles up closer. The atmosphere is still and we are both silent. He puts his arms around me and holds me tight. rubbing his hands in my arms. and that's when it kicks me in the teeth. I have never felt this loving embrace from a boy my age. And in that moment I feel alive again, I forget my worries and hug him back.
We break apart. "better?" he asks.
"better." I answer.
and we kiss He let's go and stars me in the eyes. He lays me on my back and lies between my legs kissing me warmly. I lean upwards and wrap my legs round him and he slowly lifts up my top. He looks at me, his eyes full of love and plays with my hair "Your beautiful." He whispers and I plant my lips on him passionately.
He kisses me and asks me something so many people have asked me before. But at the same time no body has asked me with such caring eyes. "are you okay?" He already knows the answer. no.
Tears roll off my cheek and he wipes them away, its alright, he tells me. Then he reaches down and touches my necklace. he rolls of around in his fingers. "from...?"
"my mother, just before she died she gave this to me. Literally the day before she just said I'm going to die soon and I know you know that, so I wanted you to know that its because I love you. me... dying isn't me being selfish its just me seeing things. this will lead you onto different and maybe twisting and bumpy paths but you will end up in paradise in the end. and then I asked her what if I don't end up in paradise and she gave me this to get me there safety. so I never take it off. because I never get protected "
"I'll protect you." Jake said looking deep into my eyes. "I will always, always protect you Tommy."
"wish you turned up earlier." I laughed.
"what happened in Liverpool" Jake asked, ignoring me.
I felt dirty at the thought of telling him what happened in Liverpool so I kept silent for a second longer and then he interrupted my thinking. "because what ever happened there, I will wipe it clean from your mind, and help you over come depression. I will show you how beautiful you are and how much your worth. and I will show others how you are mine... If you let me."
And then I feel tears of love stream down my face and into the heart of my lover. Jake Kennedy.