I throw my legs out of the bed and try to think of anyone who would know about this. But the only person I can think of is Callum. I finally pluck up the courage to text back. 'Who are you?' I write. I stand up and start to pace up and down the room. O dial Jakes number and call him up...
"Hello?"
"Jake? Where are you?"
"I'm on my way back now."
"Well come back soon, I'm getting sick of you leaving all the time - my Dad cooked you a meal and you weren't even there!"
"Look, I'm coming home now Tommy."
He hangs up and I sit back down on my bed again when my phone vibrates. Shit. Another message. 'Just kill yourself, then you'll know.'
I don't reply to that text but keep the evidence. This could get bad.
I hear the door open. Jake must be back. I hear him apologizing to my Dad for not being there to eat when I sprint down and grab Jakes arm, "Tommy! What are you doing" I drag him into the living room. I open my mouth about to tell him about the text when he looks at me and tells me he's sorry.
"Look Tom, I'm just not right at the moment," he sits down and crouches his body over his legs, holding his hands together, "I haven't seen Mum in so long... I just need to go back home for a bit. I have never really felt like this, because I'm always 100m/h but now its slowed down... I... I'm just home sick." He buries his face in his hands and I sit by him and hold him. I squeeze him and kiss the side of his head.
"Jake, you need to tell me these things, I totally understand! Jake you can go back any time you want babe, because..," I'm about to tell him something very big but its a bit to soon. I'm about to him I love him, which I do, but, things are just going slow and that is good. I stop myself and crouch down on the floor in front of him.
I take his hands away from his face and hold them. He looks at me intensely. We have told each other we are in love before but that was a few times when we were drunk or high, its a big thing. And then as I look at him he says it. "Tommy, I love you. I've loved you since that night at mine and I've loved you ever since" he tells me blankly. I don't know what to say "same. Jake I love you so much. I can't describe. And that's why we need to tell each other things, I'm always here baby" I say and kiss his warm lips.
