May I Dine With You

What have I done?!

A/N: Wanning, this chapter contains scenes of self hard and critical levels of depression. If you really don't want to see this then don't read it. Reader discretion is advised.

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(30 minutes after Shy’s breakdown)

(Shy’s pov)
     I was sitting in the hallway covering my clothing in tears. I didn’t wanna believe it Izzy had to be in the room the one time I was screaming at the teacher. Why did I have to yell… why did I do that… I-I can’t I can’t….. GAH!!!

    I ran to the bathroom right as the class been rang and slammed the door. I didn’t wanna think of this pain…. I wanted it to end. I am tired of it. I took out my knife and rolled up my sleeves. My arms were covered in scabs and scars. However some of them are from my cat… heh… heh.

    I took the knife and stared at it. It was so sharp, so…. bloody. I looked at my arm and cut it with knife. I cried as the knife cut through my skin and I let out a loud scream. The blood rushed down my arm… it hurts so much. I hate this. I hate myself for doing this.. I want it to end. I was so tired of punishing myself like this. It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my fault…

    I cried in the bathroom for about sixteen minutes. I felt weak from blood loss and the floor below me was covered in blood.

    “Make it stop…. please!” I cried out to the heavens above. “Just let me die! I want it to end… I want it to end.” Despite what I said I knew that wouldn’t happen. I looked at some of the toilet paper in the stalls. It wasn’t bandages but it was thick enough to hide my shame. I wrapped it around my arm tightly to stop the bleeding and to shake up the blood on my arms and shirt.

    “This will….” I sighed, “help..” I looked at the toilet and dropped the rest of the paper into it, I flushed the toilet repeatedly causing the bowl to flood. The water flooded the floor and washed up all of my blood away. There was too much water to know that there was any blood. I looked out the bathroom door and saw one of the janitors enter the hallway.

    “E-exuse me sir?” I called to him. “There was an accident in the bathroom and it's starting to flood.”

    “Again?” He asked in an annoyed tone. I nodded and he went into the bathroom with some caution tape.

    “Okay, I will take care of this. You go to your class now.” He said in a calm but somewhat irritated voice.

   “T-thank you.” I shuddered. I looked away covering the toilet paper that read wrapped on my arm. I chose a bad day to wear white. My blood was about to show through the sleeves. It wasn’t enough to show the truth of what I’ve done to myself, but it was enough for the janitor to ask question. I knew that if he started to ask me about what happened I would….. I would….
  
     It wouldn’t end well.

   I turned around and walked away from the janitor.

……….

     I opened the door to my classroom, I came in at a horrible time as per usual. The class already started the lesson and the professor was in the middle of a lecture about ironically enough, depression. It’s always fun to know how helpless I am. I took a step forward hoping that no one would notice my presence. But of course as with every action I take, it doesn’t go as planned.

     “Ms. Sheila, where have you been? Class has started without you.” The professor said to me.

     “Yeah, like she was too late to meet up with me in the bathroom.” I heard a man whisper this friends. This man’s name was David, I hate him, I hate him, I hate them. I can’t tell you why…. it hurts..

    “I-I am sorry….” I said with my head down.

    “Its okay, now go take a seat.” He said.
 
    “Yes sir….” I said I looked around and saw that there was an empty seat next to Izzy. But… it was right in front of David. I hesitated but I decided to by her anyway.

    “Hey, are you okay? You left in a hurry.” Izzy asked as I took a seat.

    “I am fine, just a little sick that’s all…” I lied. 

    “Heh, sick in the head more like.” David insulted. Those words hit me straight in the heart. I was immediately filled with rage.

     “Stup. Up” I whispered in my seat.

    “What was the girl?” David snarled.

    “She said shut up up, David. Now be quiet.” Izzy said giving David a evil and agitated look. David backed down and and stopped. He seemed to fear Izzy, I could use this but…. I don’t wanna treat her like that. So I shook off the thought.

    Class continues as usual. There was the run of the mill lesson about self harm and how it is not the answer. I teared up during the lecture because I remembered how much of a failure I was. The pain hurts….. I… need to listen to the class..
 
       As time past I grew more comfortable with Izzy. I felt happy t one with her. I reached over to take her hand out of pure impulse. I reached over to her, she smiled and took my hand. I knew that we would be great friends. I had faith in that. As we held our hands I heard that men behind us start to chatter. I listened to what they had to say.

    “So, is this the girl you mentioned?” The first man whispered.

   “Heh, she is somethin, isn’t she~” David said while looking at my breast from the back. 

   “Yeah she is~.” The first man said.

    “Hey, check this out. I can play with her and she doesn’t fight.” David reached his hand out in front of me. He quickly pressed his hand on my breast and started to violently grope them.

    “AH!” I screamed a I swung my hand at his but his other hand grabbed mine.

    “Hey!” Izzy took out a taser and shocked his hand off of me. “Get your hands off of her you pervert. David jumped back and went to slap Izzy, she caught his hand and tased him again. He fell in his seat twitching because of the shock.

     “.... thanks..” I said knowing that that wasn’t going to help me later.

    “Hm, hey, do you wanna go to the dinner later?” Izzy asked trying to make me feel better.   

    “....sure.” I said. I will do anything that will help me get away from David. Just for a bit of extra detail, David was a “boyfriend” of mine. At first I thought he was a great guy and I thought he cared about me. But he stabbed mine the back as he decided that I was no longer her love but his toy. He harassed me, he bit me, bye raped me, and I hate it all. I am waiting for the day that something happens to him. I want to watch him suffer as much he made me suffer. I hate him, and I will always hate him.