Pretending [YOONKOOK]

12 : It's Too Hard

Everyone was happy when they saw Yoongi smiling and laughing Jungkook and Namjoon joke around with him. He look so pretty. So happy. So energetic. So lively.

Everyone was having a really great time together that day and almost nothing get to worry them.

But after that day, Jungkook start to feel that Yoongi is becoming nicer and open up to him a lot more than before. Jungkook was beyond happy that their bond is happening.

Every morning he will wake Yoongi up for classes, sometimes Yoongi did to him when he was late once or twice. Yoongi started to eat more than before and Jungkook just beyond anxious when he manage to finish the meal for the first time without complaining being nausea and vomit them back out.

Jungkook also make sure to keep updating Hoseok on Yoongi's great progress.

Hoseok will always smile and praise Jungkook to keep up his good work. He know sooner or later it's going to happen.

Yoongi on the other side, actually don't feel alright, at all. He was feeling so exhausted trying to figure out himself. He had become to protective and clingy to Jungkook lately. Even the others had started to actually joke around about how he and Jungkook was actually having something but he younger always blush and quick to deny as he know how Yoongi get uncomfortable for things like that.

Yoongi actually doesn't really know it. He well aware he is a bisexual but he is just so confused. Could it be he love Jungkook? Or is it just his depression that making him feeling attached and attracted to Jungkook?

He don't want to ruin Jungkook future. He never want to get his dark ink on Jungkook white fur canvas. He is too innocent, too small, too weak for this kind of monster.

So Yoongi try his hardest to act like a big brother to Jungkook. Trying hard to make himself believe that he only saw Jungkook as a little brother he must taken care of properly.

But sometimes he is scared with himself. Sometimes Yoongi feel so out of control that he just want to go over to Jungkook bed every night and just confess the younger about how complicated what he is feeling right now. But he know that ain't going to do anything or even worst, make the younger distance himself away out of disgust and fear.

Yoongi was so deep in his thoughts and again tonight his insomnia just win again. He had a day off from work today as it was a public holiday but he can't seem to sleep. Outside is raining quite heavily and thunder can be heard quite loud. Yoongi was trying to adjust to the calmness as he heard a loud crying shout from Jungkook bed and the older turn as fast he can react and check the other out.

I heard footsteps, I heard mom and dad shouting. Just then the door to my room open and I tighten my hold onto the blanket as I curl up further into the closet. I'm so scared. Someone please help me. Save me from here. I don't want to be here. Please save me.

"Where is that stupid?" I heard father curse and I just want to sob harder but I should not make any sound.

Just then the door to the closet creak as the wind from thunderstorm flew into my dark solitary room. I was too panic to even shut the window just now.

I saw the dark figure of my dad walking with fire steps toward the door and I just want to be away. I want to disappear I want to die.

"Pl.. Please... Don't.. Don't hit.. Me... Im so.. sorr...sorry...." The door swing open and I know tonight will just haunt me forever.

"Jungkook wake up!" Jungkook shot his eyes open as he directly wake up from sleeping posture into seating and he was shaking violently.
"I.. i can't... Can't... Br.. Breathe..." Jungkook said as his breathe hitch up and down violently faster and his chest rise up and down nonstop. Tears were streaming down his face and Yoongi was shocked.

Without thinking about anything, he just hug the younger as Jungkook rest his head against Yoongi's beating heart that was quite faster as he was anxious to handle Jungkook in this kind of state. 

"Jungkook.. Calm down... It's okay... Shh... Everything is okay, you're safe... you're safe here..." Yoongi mumbles as he caress Jungkook's back gently.

"Pl.. Please... Please don..don't..go..Yoongi... " Jungkook said as he held into the hem of Yoongi's black shirt as he cried harder when the thunder strike.

"Hyung is not going anywhere.. i'm right here.. Beside you... See... You can hold my hand... I'll take care of you... I'll keep you safe..." Yoongi said as he carefully interwined their hand together gently as the other hand wrapped around Jungkook body.

As another thunder strike, Jungkook again jolts up and he was breathing more faster to the shocked but Yoongi just hold his hand tighter and pull him closer to his body as his tiny frame hide the light of the thunder strike from Jungkook eyes.

He slowly try to lay both of them down on Jungkook bed without letting go of Jungkook even a second.

"Pl.. Please don't.. Hit me... It's.. Hurt.." Jungkook mumbles as be cried.
"Maknae.. I won't ever hurt you okay? Just close your eyes and try to sleep alright? Hyung will stay awake and take care of you.I won't sleep so you can feel safer alright? Just hold on to me tigher if you are scared. Just use me as a place you can run to hide. I'll protect you." Yoongi whispers and Jungkook bring his arms slowly as he hug Yoongi body and hide his face in his chest while Yoongi put the blanket on both of them.

'I want to protect you but I'm just a useless person who can't even protect myself. I'm so sorry...'

TO BE CONTINUE.
hahaha... This is heartbreaking im sorry Yiruma is just ugh... I'm crying love you all 😔