Pretending [YOONKOOK]

13 : But I still Want...

The next morning, Jungkook wake up but he was surprised to why he can't move. He open his eyes to see a dark shirt which he know was Yoongi and the memories from yesterday just came back all over again. Yoongi kept his promised. His arms are securely wrap around Jungkook body without even a tiny space between them. Yoongi however had fallen into a deep sleep as he was probably staying late until himself can't take the tired eyes.

Jungkook can't help but cried. He just cried silently as he hug Yoongi. He don't really know why is he crying. It's a lot of mix feelings he is having right now.

Jungkook feel so low sometimes because of his childhood nightmare. It doesn't happen often, but when they does occur, he had to deal them alone and nobody even know. Once he had once fainted on the bathroom floor as he was too scared to be in the room as the window curtain is wide open and it was raining heavily. He is not even brave enough to go and close the curtain.

On the other hand, he was left with three months before the event will happen to Yoongi. Before he will kill himself.

Jungkook is so scared. He don't want to lose Yoongi. He don't want to have regret to fail. Jungkook just love Yoongi so much and yesterday event just cannot be forgotten ever for him. It was the first time, someone ever be there for him during this kind of panic attack.

He was like a brother for him. It was Jungkook that supposed to protect Yoongi, but he didn't feel like it, he feel like it was going the other way around.

He doesn't know when it happen. But Jungkook just got attached to Yoongi so hard that he just can't accept the fact that the older will take his own life soon.

Jungkook doesn't want him to go. Can't he stay? Can't Jungkook be the reason for him to stay?

Jungkook doesn't want to lose the first ever person that show care and love for him.

Without him realizing, Yoongi was awake as he feel the vibration of Jungkook sob although the younger try hard to control it.

"Jungkook?Why are you crying?" Yoongi ask as he bring his hand to Jungkook's hair and caress them.

Jungkook quickly hide his face in Yoongi's shirt as he shake his head left and right trying to wipe the tears away from Yoongi's eyes.

"I'm...I'm not..cr...crying.." Jungkook mumble trying to sound sleepy but it just came out shaky.

As Jungkook was confident his eyes won't show his real feelings,Jungkook woke up and sit on the bed as he think about what he should say about yesterday.

"Do you have those episodes.. A lot?" Yoongi ask softly caring. Jungkook just nodded.

"How do you usually...handle them?It was quite severe. Did you take medication for it?" Yoongi ask again concern.

"I bare them alone,ever since I was nine." Jungkook whisper and Yoongi just bite his lips. He feel bad for Jungkook. He doesn't know how bad his childhood was at all. Until it can become a trauma for him.

"Why didn't you tell someone?Ask for help." Yoongi replied suggesting and Jungkook smile sadly.

"Nobody going to believe me. My parents is active with my school charity event. I was given everything every child dreams. I deserve all hit because I'm not enough for them. I just failed everything too..." Jungkook turn to look at Yoongi face and he continue his sentence.

"..and I'm scared I will failed again." he continue in his mind '...to save you.'

"Just run to me. Everytime you feel like it, run to me. Use me to hide and make yourself feel safe." Yoongi said gently and Jungkook smile.

"I don't want to use people as a shield for my pathetic self hyung..." Jungkook replied but Yoongi shake his head.

"I don't care. Call me. Find me. Text me. Shout for me. Just anything. Just let me know and I will come. You might die yesterday as you were barely able to breath maknae and you don't know how worried I am." Yoongi said with concern face and Jungkook sighed.

"Even if something happen to me, nobody would even care hyung." Jungkook smile sadly. And Yoongi doesn't like that smile one bit.

"Come on we need to get to class hyung or else we'll be late." Jungkook quickly said before Yoongi was able to pry anything again.

That day while eating at the cafeteria, Jungkook and Yoongi is really quiet and everyone notice it fast as they both were really talkative to each other. And both of them also just playing with the food in their plate.

"Come on Tae.... Said it... You promise you won't hide anymore.." They heard Jimin whisper to the not so calm Taehyung who was sitting infront of Jungkook.

"Uh..." Everyone attention was drag to Taehyung and he gulp his salive nervously.

"What is it Tae?" Namjoon ask and Jin too.

"I... I actually..." Taehyung try to see Jungkook eyes but the younger was in a day dream and he is not paying attention.

"Jeon Jungkook I like you can you please go on a date with me!" Everyone at the table was shocked to Taehyung action that suddenly stand up and bow to Jungkook and the younger freak out to the loud noise.

"Wh.. What?" Jungkook ask look shocked.

"I like you...do you want to be my boyfriend?" Yoongi make sure his face was uninterested but his heart was beating so hard, he just feel like crying. He feel so sad right now. He is just pathetic useless person. He can't approach Jungkook like that cause he got nothing good about himself.

Jungkook was so confused. He look around the table to see face of his hyungs smiling and nodding their head. They love to tease Jungkook and Taehyung but he didn't realize they are actually being serious about it. Jungkook doesn't really sure about his feelings for Taehyung but he don't want to hurt his pride and reject him infront all of them.

Maybe he did like Taehyung but he didn't realize it. Jungkook is a bit scared and he look to Yoongi side to ask for his advice and to his surprise the older is closing his eyes pretending to sleep.

Jungkook turn infront and bite his lips as he look at Taehyung nervous face.

"...sure..." He said not so convincing but the table were loud as they hear his response except.. Hoseok and Yoongi. Jungkook just smile awkwardly as they all were teasing the new couple and Hoseok sighed as he saw a few droplets of Yoongi's tears.

'Maybe I was never enough, for anyone to love.'

TO BE CONTINUE.
The plot twist is coming guys. It's a downfall now put on the seatbelt and grab tissues for tears.