The Ride Home (ON HOLD)

Chapter 37

Max

As I was getting closer to Shelby's room, my hands began to sweat and my heart was beating quicker than before. What if she doesn't want to see me? If I were her I wouldn't want to see me, after what happened but, what if she doesn't even remember? I would have to tell her sooner or later.

I was standing outside the room Shelby was in, I could see Ross through the window in the door. He was smiling he looked so happy, his eyes appeared bright and engaged in the conversation. I glanced over to where Ross was facing and saw Shelby lying on the white hospital bed with a pale blue blanket on top of her and an IV in her left arm. She seemed, sad. Kind of like something was missing...someone.

Ross turned his head and saw me through the window, automatically his smile faded from his face. He said something to Shelby and walked toward the door and came out of the room. He slowly closed the door and went out of view from the window.

"I was wondering," Ross started, "If you could go call Shelby's mom. Tell her what happened to Shelby, see if she can get a plane over. I'll pay for the ticket."

"Of course, um, do you think I could see her first?" I looked to the ground, nervous for Ross's answer, nervous to say her name to him.

Ross nodded, "Max before you go in, you should know something," Ross scratched the back of his neck while avoiding eye contact, "Shelby remembers, everything. She might not be happy with seeing you but, it's your choice whether to go in or not. After you decide don't forget to call her mom, I would but, I don't know what happened. Not completely anyway. I'm gonna go home and change, get something to eat. Do you need anything from home?"

"I..uh, no thanks. I'm good." Ross nodded and walked away. I turned around and saw a couch against the wall. I walked over and sat down. Should I go in and see her? I don't want to make her feel bothered.

I've decided to go get her favorite flowers and bring them to her. I won't stay long, but I just want to make sure she's okay. This is all my fault anyway if I wouldn't have been so dumb and just tried to make our relationship work. Put effort into it, instead of waiting for her to do everything then, we wouldn't be here. Her in the room and me, outside of the room. We would be together maybe in her new apartment... our apartment, maybe. I would be able to just walk in there and hug and kiss her and tell her that she'll be okay and that I'll always be here. Except, I can't because I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, I can't do a single thing right. I can't keep a relationship, I can barely keep a friendship. It surprises me that Ross is still friends with me, for now. I treated her like crap, she deserves to be treated like a queen, like a goddess. Maybe I just don't know how to do that. Maybe I should just leave, buy her flowers call her mom then, disappear. Maybe that would be best for everyone. If I just disappeared.

-sorry, it's so sad, I was listening to some depressing music, that definitely didn't help. have a good day. :)