"idk.yet"

Chapter 11

It was once again lonely in the castle. Olivia left to go back to the other kingdom to visit her friends, she told me to do something useful and have some alone time. She told me to make friends within the court, "It would help when you become king."

I had no intentions to make friends with the ruthless monsters within the court. The ones who drank wine and decorated their homes with fancy paintings, and their bodies with diamonds and gold, all without blinking an eye for those who made those items. They just accepted that the people who made those items were dying and being taken away from their families, they accepted that so many people were wearing chains in their names.

' Your father had chains in his name too and you never blinked an eye then, you're no better'

I am better, I tell myself. I am better than those people. I will make a change and I will make the lives of my people better. I will.................

'See,' the inner demon says. It's been popping in and out and it has been making my life hell. 'you don't even know what you are going to do.'

Go away, I want to tell it. I want it to go away. But it's there and it won't leave. It is permanently stuck within my head. The irony, a reader is supposed to control one's mind and he can't control his own.

'The irony, a prince is supposed to control the kingdom and he can't control his own life.' The demon comes back and I can almost imagine it, I could paint it. I close my eyes and imagine it.

First, I see black, all black. It moves like water filling the empty voids and cracks of my mind, never having a shape of its own. It fills everywhere and threatens to drown my sanity. Then I see red.

Little drops of red, not bright red that comes from a sunrise, or red like a rose. Blood red. It's dripping all over the black pieces which have now frozen like water. The red drips over the black ice. I try to find a face because so far all I have are images.

Then I see it. The blood is her blood because she doesn't feel pain. The eyes I can recognize anywhere. She smiles and it hurts because I don't think I've ever seen a smile so bright. The gold and silver eyes are staring at me and she's sitting on the throne.

A black throne with the red rubies decorating it. On her head sits a crown that look's like it's made of smoke and instead of a scepter she holds a dagger. But her smile falters and her lips start to move, "It all started with you."

The words don't reach me until her lips stop moving. She stands up and walks toward me her dagger in hand. When she reaches me the look she gives me is so similar to the one she had on her face when she killed my father.

I freeze and my spine straightens. It all feels so real, I feel like I'm going to die. I think of all the things I wasn't able to do, how my life wasn't ever fully lived, how much of a shame it would be to die without living.

I thought this was my imagination.

My mother's smooth voice comes back to me, one of the words she taught me when I was little. Oneirateaxia the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality.

She raises the knife and I close my eyes waiting for the final blow. But she doesn't strike me, instead, she opens my palm and my fingers feel the worn leather of a hilt. I open my eyes.

"Kill me now," she says, I scan her eyes. "Kill me now before I do anything else."

I try to say something. I find that my voice doesn't work in whatever dream world I am in. "Kill me, Boy Prince," Her eyes are now filled with fear and she's shaking. Her voice breaks as she says the next words. "Kill me before I ever become Queen."